Story of Smashers
by AuraWielder
Summary: Master Hand has personally extended a Smash invitation to Mewtwo to come back for the 4th tournament, which he accepts. As Mewtwo goes throughout the mansion for the first time since the Melee tournament, he discovers that the new characters and the daily life of Smashers are... interesting, to say the least. Slice-of-life. Image belongs to Quas-quas on deviantArt.
1. Return to Smash Mansion

Story of Smashers

A/N: So, hey guys. As some of you might know, my Pokémon World Tour humor series has ended. Currently, I have a story that I'm actively working on (Conquering the Dark). I'm in a little bit of a rut, so I've decided to expand from Pokémon stories into Super Smash Bros. I've had a desire to write in the Smash fandom since my Smash one-shot from before. This series is going to be a lot more light-hearted and humor-oriented compared to CtD. I'm planning for the humor to be simple and not quite as absurd as PWT (as in, PG-safe). This'll be very slice-of-life and simpler, but I think it's something you guys can enjoy.

Chapter 1: Return to Smash Mansion

* * *

Inside the deep dark caves of Kalos' Unknown Dungeon, where few trainers dare to venture in fear, and where a fabled yet powerful Pokémon is said to be…

…Was a bored Mewtwo, flipping through the channels of his TV, desperately trying to find something even remotely interesting to pass the time.

"Hey Mewtwo! The uh… the bathtub handles came off! That's… that's supposed to happen as the water's overflowing, right?"

Mewtwo sighed. The legendary ancestor of Pokémon Mew was staying over as a guest for a couple of days, but he didn't think his original counterpart could be THIS much trouble.

_"I'll get it later."_ he thought grumpily to himself. Finally, he came to what seemed to be a sports broadcast. It only stopped him from changing the channel as the sport itself caught his interest.

"Smash Brothers…" Mewtwo realized, seeing Mario and Bowser battle it out on Battlefield. "This is the 4th tournament, right?"

Mewtwo himself had been in the Smash Tournament before, during the Melee tournament. It had been an interesting experience, to say the least. He remembered that his Melee invitation came through the mail very shortly after the Team Rocket incident when Giovanni tried to use Mewtwo for his own nefarious purposes. In hindsight, he was glad that Ash trainer stopped him from taking over the world, but it still left him questioning a lot of things. Mewtwo had decided to accept the invitation, and show the world why he was called the "world's strongest Pokémon".

He chuckled a bit at the memory. _"Wow, was I arrogant."_

Of course, Mewtwo was sour that he DIDN'T get to use his full power. The organizer of the Smash tournament, Master Hand, informed him that it wouldn't be fair for everyone else if Mewtwo unleashed his full power. Inside of battle only, his power was severely restricted, and it was hard to even emerge victorious.

Then there was that Jigglypuff.

How he LOATHED that Jigglypuff.

In an extremely sharp contrast to Mewtwo, Jigglypuff performed exceptionally well in the Melee tournament. Inside battle with her, this mere Jigglypuff's powers exceeded his own, and thanks to his large frame, Jigglypuff could very easily combo him off the stage or send him flying at super speed with Rest.

To this day, he still questioned Master Hand's decision to make Rest send the opponent flying rather than healing the user.

He sighed. "Regardless, my Smash tournament days are over."

Mewtwo continued watching the Smash tournament on the TV, still interested in how the tournament would go. He had cleaned up Mew's mess a while back, so he got another hour (hopefully) until she broke something again.

The winner of the match was Bowser, with Mewtwo looking on in interest. "Wow. He certainly changed a lot since the Melee tournament. Looks a lot more in shape and better in battle. Wonder how that happened."

Just then, he heard a knock at his door.

Opening the door to his cave, he found a Delibird with a mailbag in his hands. Mewtwo laughed.

"The fan mail just never stops on coming, does it?" he said, taking his pile of mail from the Delibird.

Delibird laughed along as well. "Well, you ARE the original Legendary you know." The Delibird smiled after a moment. "There's also something special in there that I think will put a big grin on your face."

Mewtwo seemed surprised at this. "Special?"

"You'll see. But a mailmon's day is never done. I got to get back to delivering my mail, you know."

Mewtwo laughed again. "Your species may be weak, but second-to-none when it comes to your mail delivery."

Delibird smiled. "Thanks. I think." And with that, the Delibird ran off.

Mewtwo looked at his mail in curiosity. "Special, huh?" He sat down on his recliner to sort through the mail. "Fan mail, fan mail, ad for Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire, fan mail from Ash, angry letter from Giovanni swearing for revenge, cable bills, Smash letter, fan mail, fan m-"

He stopped for a moment. Flipping back a bit, he saw a letter sealed with the Smash insignia.

"A Smash letter? What could they want with me? Hasn't the tournament already started?"

Setting the other mail aside, he opened up the Smash letter, unsealing the insignia and reading its' contents.

_Dear Mewtwo,_

_ I have sent this letter to let you know that you are cordially invited to join the Super Smash Bros for Nintendo 3DS and Wii U tournament. While the tournament has already started, you will be planned to debut in battle in Spring 2015 as a DLC character. Should you choose to accept this invitation, we will start work on your training and Smash moveset and I will send a travel portal to your current location. You will not be able to participate in the tournament until you are ready for your public DLC release, but you are free to train and come back to the Smash Mansion. I assure you that when you are revealed to the public, you will be battle-ready._

_ Oh, and I'll balance you better this time. Promise._

_ Sincerely,_

_ Master Hand_

Mewtwo had to scan over the contents of the letter several times. He couldn't believe what he was reading. Him? Invited? Back to the Smash Mansion? Back into the Smash tournament? It almost seemed too good to be true.

Mewtwo thought about it. He hadn't been to the Smash Mansion in a long time, as he left shortly before the Brawl tournament began. He didn't even bother to meet any of the Brawl newcomers, as he was very… sour about being cut.

"What if I just get cut again?" he muttered to himself. He wasn't too optimistic about returning. "And a lot has probably changed since then…I wonder if Ness is even still around."

Ness. That name brought back memories. He had met Ness during the Melee tournament, and was surprised to find a human capable of PSI. In the Melee tournament, they both shared the problem of being balanced poorly, and found themselves becoming friends. He had learned that Ness was in the very first Smash tournament as well, a fact that surprised Mewtwo.

"I wonder if Ness is still there. The EarthBound series never was very huge…"

He looked at the letter again. "A lot must've changed since I left. It's been a long time. Maybe…"

"Hey Mewtwo!" came an ear-piercing voice.

"What?" Mewtwo groaned.

"I think the bathtub's broken again! It wasn't my fault!"

Mewtwo sighed, looking at the letter again. After thinking it over one last time, he smiled.

"I accept."

As soon as those words were spoken, a portal cracked open into reality in front of Mewtwo. Through the portal, he saw the Smash Mansion, except it was much larger than he last saw it.

Mew floated out of the bathroom, seeing the scene in front of her. "Hey Mewtwo. Where are you going?"

Mewtwo looked at Mew, then back to the portal. He smiled. "The Smash Tournament."

With those words, he stepped inside and the portal closed behind him.

"…" It took a few moments for what Mewtwo said to sink into Mew's head. "…Awesome! I'm going to throw a party and invite ALL the Legendaries!"

* * *

Mewtwo re-materialized just outside of the Smash Mansion. Mewtwo looked up to it. Last time he was here, the mansion was two stories tall. Now, it stretched to five stories.

"Must've remodeled during the Brawl and SSB4 Tournaments…" Mewtwo muttered.

He raised his padded fingers, knocking on the door.

"Wow. I can't believe I'm actually back here." Mewtwo said silently again, looking at the now intricate design of the Smash Mansion.

"I've got it!" said what sounded like a distinctly British voice. The door opened to reveal a young adult, maybe somewhere around 18-21 years of age. His hair was a platinum blonde, wearing a red jacket, shorts, and a red pair of boots. The most interesting thing, however, was the very oddly-shaped red sword he had strapped to his back.

The person spoke. "I… I don't believe I've seen you around here before. Pardon my asking, but what is your name?"

"I am Mewtwo, the Legendary Pokémon." He responded simply. He decided to not tack on the "world's strongest Pokémon" bit anymore, as he thought it made him sound too arrogant.

The person gasped. "So… you're the Legendary Mewtwo." A few seconds passed before the male recomposed himself. "Uhh, sorry about that. Master Hand said he sent you an invitation to be a DLC fighter, and it looks like that…"

"I've accepted." Mewtwo finished the young adult's sentence for him.

The platinum blonde nodded. "Right. I should introduce myself. I'm Shulk, Heir to the Monado."

"Pleased to meet you Shulk. I hope we can get acquainted."

"Me too." Shulk smiled. "Master Hand will probably want to know you're here, but I think we should acquaint you with everyone else first. After all, Master Hand said that you haven't been here since the Melee tournament."

"That is true." Mewtwo said. "A lot of people have probably come and gone since then. You seem to know this place well enough. Why don't you give me the grand tour?"

Shulk nodded, eager to begin the tour. "Then it's settled! Come on in and I'll show you around!"

Mewtwo walked in behind Shulk, looking around at the décor. "Place is sure a lot nicer than I remember."

Shulk shrugged. "It was like that when I got here. I was among the last fighters to be officially announced."

"I see."

* * *

The two walked down the main hallway, approaching the first room. "I believe in there is…"

"Marth! Get back here! I will kill you!"

The door slammed open to their surprise, with a mischievous Marth and an absolutely furious Link coming out. Marth tauntingly held a green book in front of him, reading it.

"Oh, I don't know Link. Most of this is just so priceless." Marth looked up for a moment, seeing Shulk and Mewtwo. "Oh hey guys. Did you guys know that Link still sleeps with an Epona plushy?"

"MARTH!"

"Ooh, ooh, OR that he never figured out how to beat the first dungeon when playing his own game for the NES?!"

"Playing it, and actually being on the adventure are two very, VERY different things!" Link shouted, pulling out his bow. "Now hand over my journal, and I won't be forced to fire!"

"Hmm… nah. I'm going to go find Zelda. She'll find all of this hilarious." Marth dashed out of the room, with Link chasing after him at super speed.

"GET BACK HERE! YOU ARE DEAD MEAT!"

Mewtwo and Shulk stood there stunned for a second before Mewtwo broke the silence with a laugh. "Looks like those two haven't changed a bit since I last saw them."

"They've always been like that?"

"Last I remember during the Melee tournament, yeah."

Shulk was silent for a few more awkward second. "A-Anyway, next room. This one is my room, but I have to share with-"

"Oh hey Shulk, you're back. Could you get your science-y stuff out of my half of the room… and could I have 5 bucks for a chili dog? It's close to lunch time." said a certain anthropomorphic blue hedgehog.

Shulk sighed in annoyance. "My roommate, Sonic." He finished. Rolling his eyes, Shulk handed the money to Sonic, who flashed a grin and zipped out at the speed of sound. "By the way, could you clean my side of the room? Haven't touched it in a month, thanks!"

"He seems to be a loathsome roommate to have." Mewtwo commented.

"He's a nice guy, really." Shulk assured, before sighing. "But he is a horrible roommate."

The two walked into Shulk's/Sonic's room, where one half of the decently-sized room was orderly and tidy with a couple of spare metal parts and beakers here and there.

The OTHER half of the room could only be described as being hit by a tornado, flood, AND earthquake. Pizza boxes were strewn everywhere, the ground had wet dirt from too many sodas and a lack of cleaning ever, and that's not even bringing up the cracks in the ground where growling noises could be heard… oh, and the strong scent of chili dog and smelly socks was in the air, too.

"Sweet mother of Arceus…" Mewtwo gasped, practically choking in the air.

Shulk coughed for a bit too, before he left the room. Mewtwo quickly followed suit.

"That place needs to be quarantined." Mewtwo said, finally able to breathe normally again.

"That's what I told Master Hand, but he doesn't even want to touch Sonic's room. Not even Crazy Hand is willing to go in there." Shulk spoke. "I'm developing a special air neutralizer that'll get rid of that horrid stench. I'm just relieved it's almost done. Until then, I can only stand to be in there with a gas mask. Anyway, why don't we move on?"

"Absolutely agreed."

* * *

"This next hall is the Mario characters, and there's a lot of them. Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser, Rosalina, Bowser Jr., and Dr. Mario."

"Doc's back? But I thought-"

"I can explain that."

The two turned behind them to see Mario… except wearing a doctor's coat and stethoscope. Not Mario at all. So, actually Dr. Mario.

"Doc?" Mewtwo asked. "You're here for the SSB4 tournament? I thought you were kicked off for the Brawl tournament."

Doc smiled softly. "Nah, I just retired for a bit to focus on medical care. But Master Hand extended me an invitation back after the Brawl tournament, and I thought it would be rude to turn down the offer."

Mewtwo laughed. "Well, I'm glad I'm not the only Melee cut who made it back. We must catch up later. But right now, Shulk's taking me on a tour. Talk to you later, Doc."

"Farewell, Mewtwo. Glad to see you back." Doc smiled, leaving the two to go back to his room.

_"Good ol' Doc." _Mewtwo thought. He turned back to Shulk, only to hear a faint squeal come from somewhere.

"What was that?" Mewtwo said.

"Sounds like Luma. Those boys must be up to no good again. Probably playing Luma Volleyball." Shulk sighed, opening up one of the rooms to see just that.

The poor, pudgy yellow star was helplessly bounced through the air like a volleyball, across a net set up in Rosalina's and Junior's room. The two little mischief makers bounced the helpless star were Junior and Toon Link. The two children looked at Shulk and Mewtwo as they came into the room. Shulk was glaring at them angrily while Mewtwo simply gave a disapproving shake.

"You know what Rosalina said playing Luma Volleyball." Shulk scolded.

"Um… to not?" Junior guessed.

"Correct. Now let the Luma go. Poor thing's suffered enough already."

"Just 1 more round!" Toon Link pleaded. "We're tied!"

"No, I said-"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY BABY?!" a horrified voice shouted. Dashing into the room was a very tall, platinum blonde woman. She had a dress like Peach did, though it was noticeably simpler in design. The woman picked up the Luma that had been launched into the ground, rather injured.

"Mama." Luma cried. "They hurt me playing volleyball."

"There, there. It's OK. Mama's here." She whispered into the Luma's ear, hugging it softly. After a few moments, she turned to look at the young boys with a look that wouldn't kill, but horrifically scar the young children for life.

"You have three seconds to get out of my sight before I send you SPIRALING INTO THE DEPTHS OF OUTER SPACE! ONE!"

"Run!" Toon Link shouted, dashing out of the room.

"TWO!"

"Right behind you, Toony!" Junior screamed, running out at super speed.

"THREE!" she finished, teleporting them away with a wave of her arm.

Mewtwo was almost nervous to ask. "Where… did you teleport them?"

"Only an alternate galaxy filled with their worst nightmares. Don't worry, I'll bring them back after a few hours." she smiled softly.

Shulk backed away slowly from her as Mewtwo smirked. _"I like her."_

The woman extended her hand out. "Nice to meet you. I'm Rosalina, Guardian of the Stars. And you are?"

Mewtwo took her hand, shaking with his awkward padded fingers. "Mewtwo, the Legendary Pokémon."

"Mewtwo… that sounds familiar…" she mused. "Wait. Weren't you in the Melee tournament?"

"Yes." Mewtwo said. "I was invited back here as a DLC fighter for the fourth tournament."

Rosalina smiled. "That's great to know. It's always nice to have another fighter join us. I hope you have fun in the tournament."

"I plan to." Shulk and Mewtwo were about to leave until something popped up in Mewtwo's mind. He turned back to Rosalina.

"Could you teach me how to teleport people into nightmare galaxies? I have some very strong psychic powers of my own, and I'd love to give something like that a shot."

Rosalina chuckled softly. "I'll think about it." she said, closing her door to tend to Luma.

Mewtwo turned back to see Shulk give him a look of fear and confusion.

"What?" he asked.

Shulk was silent for a few moments before he spoke up again. "Nothing. Nothing at all. Let's… Let's just keep going."

* * *

"Anyway, next up we have Samus's and Zero Suit Samus's room." Shulk said.

Mewtwo paused for a moment. "Don't you just mean Samus? There's only one Samus Aran, right?"

Shulk chuckled nervously. "If there was one, there's not anymore."

"But then how do you get TWO Samuses?"

"I can hear you from right here, you know?" said a firm female voice. A moment later, the door to the room opened up, revealing Samus dressed in her Zero Suit. "Those advanced Chozo genes aren't just for nothing."

Samus paused for a moment, seeing the creature next to Shulk. "Wait. Mewtwo? You're back?"

Mewtwo nodded. "Yep. I'm back as a DLC fighter."

"I see. So, you'd probably want to know what Shulk meant by two Samuses. See, I'm using some nanobots I've created to control my suit for me whenever I'm not using it. Of course, this is only for the sake of tournaments. Should any real problems arise, I can take back over."

"That... is really clever, I have to admit." Mewtwo said.

Shulk got a giddy look on his face. "Yeah, I've been studying technology for the longest time on Bionis, yet we have nothing like nanobots. I'm really hoping Ms. Aran here can show me how they work. I'd love to see if I could figure out the technology behind it!"

"I will sometime, Shulk." Samus said. "But they are still..."

KRAPOW!

Following that noise was a thick layer of smoke coming through the door, with the smoke alarm going off.

"...Prototypes." Samus sighed. "Looks like I'll be busy for a while."

She shut the door behind her, leaving Shulk and Mewtwo alone.

"So... shall we continue?" Shulk asked.

"I think that would be a wise idea."

* * *

"We're approaching the Pokémon section of the hall, so your room will be among here. You'll be rooming with Greninja." Shulk explained.

"Greninja…" Mewtwo thought for a moment. "He's the new Water/Dark Pokémon, isn't he?"

"Yeah. He's quite a quirky fellow, but he's a very nice guy. Speaking of the devil…" Shulk muttered as he saw the blue water ninja frog peer out of his room. "H-Hello?" he stuttered nervously.

"Hey, Greninja. Guess who arrived as your new roomie!" Shulk grinned, moving to show Mewtwo. Greninja widened his mouth in awe.

"Oh wow! So you're the Legendary Mewtwo! It's such an honor to meet you!" he exclaimed happily, shaking Mewtwo's paws with his webbed frog arms.

Mewtwo smiled. "It's nice to meet you, too."

"I really look forward to having you as a roommate! When Master Hand told me you were invited and that you'd be my new roommate if you accepted, I was just so excited!" Greninja squealed. "We are going to be best friends!"

Greninja was about to give Mr. Giant Kitty Cat a hug, only for Mr. Cat to interrupt. "Don't hug me, and we'll get along just fine."

"Oh, OK." Greninja understood, backing off and blushing. "Sorry. I'm a hugger."

"Oh. So Mewtwo's back, huh?" a female voice spoke. A small pink puffball emerged from the room designated for Pikachu and Jigglypuff. The three of them turned around to see her.

Mewtwo crossed his arms with disdain. "Puff."

"Mewtwo." She replied bluntly.

"You two know each other?" Shulk asked.

"We had a very… bitter rivalry back in the Melee days." Mewtwo explained. "Specifically, the humiliation of a mere Jigglypuff being amazing in the tournaments while the powerful Mewtwo was stuck as trash tier."

"The irony was hilarious." Jigglypuff laughed.

"Yeah. Hilarious." Mewtwo replied, with obvious anger and sarcasm in his voice.

Greninja prepared a Water Shuriken at Jigglypuff. "Well, that's not very nice!"

"But… I'm not here to dwell on the past." Jigglypuff admitted. "After you left and I became absolute trash in Brawl, I kinda understand what it's like to feel so weak."

Mewtwo was surprised by Jigglypuff's sincerity, but then smiled a bit. "Stings, doesn't it?"

"Yeah…" Jigglypuff nodded meekly before sighing. "Could you ever forgive me for all of the teasing I gave you in the Melee era?"

"…Only if we get to settle it on the battlefield later. Once I become an official DLC fighter, that is."

Jigglypuff made a wide smile. "Really?! That makes me so happy that I could just sing with joy!"

Mewtwo's eyes widened. "No, don't!"

Too late. Jigglypuff had already began singing happily, only for Shulk, Mewtwo, and Greninja to fall asleep.

As the three slumbered, she growled, holding a permanent market into the air. "They always fall asleep! Forget what I said about forgiveness!"

* * *

_Super Smash Bros. © Nintendo_

_ Everything else © All their owners and stuff._

_ Story © Me. Don't steal it._

So, yeah. I decided to cut it off there because I want to save the other half of introductions (including Ness) for the next chapter. They are a LOT of Smash characters, you know. Plus, the chapter was getting pretty lengthy, so I decided to cut it off here for right now. In any case, this won't have any over-arching storyline and will be sort of like a day-to-day story in the life of the Smashers. Or in other words: the 'Story of Smashers'. Hope you all enjoy it.


	2. Friends Reunited

Story of Smashers

Chapter 2: Friends Reunited

* * *

Splash!

The splash of cold water against his face woke Mewtwo up from his slumber, becoming instantly alert from the sensation. He scanned around the room, noting that he was inside another one of the Smasher's room. Half of the room was covered in a red fiery color while the other half of the room (and the half they were in) was coated in a blue and calm aura-like color.

"You awake now?" asked a voice holding a gray bucket. It turns out that it was the Lucario competing in the Smash tournament, having just woken Mewtwo up from his slumber.

"Yeah… definitely awake." Mewtwo muttered, holding his head. He stood up slowly, using his levitation powers to make that much easier.

"Uhh…" Lucario stuttered, looking straight at Mewtwo. "You have a little… something… on your face. Well, more than a little, I guess."

Mewtwo seemed confused. "What are you talking about?"

Lucario walked away quietly, fetching a small mirror from his nightstand drawer. He then held it in front of Mewtwo.

Mewtwo was silent, staring at his reflection. "Crude, permanent marker." he remarked. "In the shape of many silly markings to make me look like a mutant clown. Curse that puffball. I never liked her anyways… Excuse me for a moment."

Lucario was silent as he heard Mewtwo walk into his bathroom. Just a few moments later, the shower was turned on.

"Never should've trusted that stupid puffball." Mewtwo grumbled as he washed himself clean. "And I will never understand why most felines lick themselves clean. It seems so inefficient compared to using a shower, and water is just naturally more useful for cleansing one's body. And also…"

Mewtwo kept blabbing on as Shulk and Greninja also came to. Shulk shook his head. "Whoa. Must've fallen asleep." he said, standing himself up. He helped Greninja do the same.

Lucario chuckled, shaking his head. "Looks like Jigglypuff got you guys as well."

"What do you mean?" Shulk asked.

Shulk took the mirror and looked in the reflection.

* * *

The resulting scream could've woken the dead. The Duck Hunt Dog could be heard loudly barking after that.

Lucario covered his ears due to the ring, his acute canine senses amplifying the sound. "Geez! What was that for?! It's just marker!"

Shulk trembled. "That's not it. I thought… I thought I saw… him. Zanza…"

Lucario had the most confused expression on his face. "Who on earth are you talking about? Zanza?"

Shulk turned silent for a few moments before speaking again. "Never mind. It's not your problem. I'd rather not talk about it, and I'm probably just imagining things anyways. Anyway, I'll go clean my face off in the bathroom."

Before Lucario could stop him, Shulk walked into the bathroom, with Mewtwo foolish enough to not lock the door. The following exchange was predictable, with Mewtwo screaming.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!"

"I'M JUST GOING TO WASH MY FACE IN THE SINK!"

"BUT I'M NAKED! GET OUT!"

"NAKED?! ALL OF YOU POKEMON ARE NAKED!"

"BUT I'M INTELLIGENT! I NEED PRIVACY!"

"WHY ARE WE STILL YELLING?!"

"BECAUSE YOU CAME INTO THE BATHROOM WHILE I WAS SHOWERING!"

"SO DOES THAT MEAN CAN WE STOP YELLING?!"

"NOT UNTIL…! Um… I guess we should." Mewtwo finished in a normal voice. The silence was incredibly awkward as the shower continued to run.

Mewtwo spoke softly again. "Um… you have a surprisingly loud voice for a non-psychic."

"Yeah… I yelled a lot in my home game. Usually, it was FIORAAAAAAA! And then a bunch of battle quotes."

"Who's Fiora?"

"I would tell you, but then I would completely spoil the readers." Shulk said casually, going back to washing his face. "I'm lucky I didn't even give Zanza any context."

A shiver went down Shulk's spine after he said that. He really hoped he was just seeing things in that mirror.

"Zan…? Never mind, I won't ask." Mewtwo shrugged.

"Um… yeah." Shulk said awkwardly. "Anyway, I should probably take you to see Master Hand so he can discuss your moveset and stuff like that."

"Of course. And thanks for showing me around the mansion a bit. It's appreciated. A lot has changed here since the Melee days." Mewtwo said, turning off the shower. He telekinetically lifted up a towel, drying himself with it.

"We should probably let Greninja wash up, too." Shulk chuckled, stepping out of the bathroom with Mewtwo. At this point, Greninja was already up… and cleaning his marker-covered face with his absurdly long tongue.

Shulk had a look of confusion on his face while Mewtwo couldn't help but chuckle. "I thought tongue-cleaning was a cat thing, not a frog thing."

Greninja looked over to them, blushing a bit in embarrassment. "Oh! You uh… you guys are out. Um… please excuse the whole 'tongue-cleaning' thing. My father was an Azumarill. It's a little embarrassing…"

Shulk whispered to Mewtwo. "Why is it embarrassing? I'm not into the whole Pokémon thing."

Mewtwo replied back to Shulk telepathically. "Social stigma. A lot of Pokémon wish not to discuss things or habits that may have been picked up by the father if it is not the same species. It's looked down upon."

Shulk spoke back to Mewtwo telepathically. "I see. Reminds me of the social stigma of a High Entia being half-human. It is typically looked down upon as well."

"High Entia?"

"I'll tell you another time."

The two cut off their mental conversation as Greninja cleaned himself up. "Anyway, I'm good now. Got all of the marker off."

Lucario nodded, looking at the three. "So, what do you guys have planned now? You should probably talk to Master Hand soon and let him know you guys are here."

"I agree." Mewtwo said. "But there is something I wish to do first. Shulk?"

"Yeah?"

Mewtwo paused for a moment. He was really hoping Ness was here. But what if he got the boot? Surviving the Melee to Brawl cut isn't even enough to be safe, as the Ice Climbers could attest. Was the Original 12 a true, unspoken rule where everyone in the original Nintendo 64 tournament was absolutely safe from cuts?

…Then again, if Jigglypuff was still around, he highly suspected that 'Original 12' rule had to hold true for Ness. Hopefully.

"Do you know of a young boy named Ness? He and I were friends during the Melee tournament, and I would like to meet up with him first before we go to Master Hand's office."

Mewtwo crossed his bulbous fingers, hoping that Ness was still around. If he was, none of his matches were seen by Mewtwo.

"Actually, yeah. I have. He's a bright boy, that kid. Last time I checked, he was practicing on the mansion's baseball diamond."

"OK, I'll… wait. We have a baseball diamond?" Mewtwo questioned.

"I thought it was always here." Shulk shrugged.

"It was built back during the Brawl tournament." Lucario said bluntly.

"Oh. Well, care to show me there Shulk?"

Shulk shook his head. "Sorry. I probably need to get going at this point before Sonic screws it up more, if that's possible."

Shulk took out a gas mask, securing it on his face. Lucario seemed a bit startled while Mewtwo let a small chuckle. "Going back to your room?"

"Yep. Need to work on that air neutralizer. I would love to be in my room without this on, but until then… I need protection."

"Godspeed." Mewtwo said as Shulk left, hoping the gas mask would hold up and the toxic fumes wouldn't kill the poor boy.

Lucario watched on. "Well, I guess I'll take you to see Ness. But after that, we really need to let Master Hand know you're here."

Mewtwo nodded. "Understood."

"Then let's get a move on."

* * *

Ness watched the ball soar into the air, hitting a home run once again. He had been practicing his swings with an automatic pitcher for a while now. The boy had a passion for baseball, ever since his early elementary days. Of course, despite his proficiency with his bat, he was far more famous for his psychic powers. With the help of his friends, he had destroyed the Giygas threat and awakened his psychic powers.

After that, no school bully dared to mess with him.

It wasn't long after his adventure that he was contacted by someone by the name of 'Master Hand'. He had been given the chance to participate in the world's first Super Smash Bros. tournament. And he never let that chance go to waste. Since then, he had played in every single tournament. His results for this tournament in particular were very good. Master Hand re-balanced him, improving Ness dramatically. He took a number of tournaments in first place, and was considered to be among the best Smashers by professionals.

"Still…" Ness pondered, sitting down in the rafters of the diamond. "…I still kinda wish that a lot of my friends didn't have to get cut."

Young Link was the first cut of Ness's friends. He had to admit, while Young Link was a bit of a troublemaker, he was a nice guy deep down.

The cuts from Brawl to SSB4 caught Ness by surprise a lot more than the Melee to Brawl cuts. Lucas. And both of the Ice Climbers. That was a particularly hard hit, losing his friends made in the Melee era and his fellow franchise friend, Lucas. The only really close friend he had left from the Brawl era was Toon Link.

And finally, there was Mewtwo. Out of all the cuts Ness had seen, Mewtwo's just flat-out didn't make sense to him. Despite Mewtwo being an incredibly popular Pokémon, he never got the invitation for the Brawl tournament. Master Hand explained the reason for that was a tight time constraint, which he supposed was fair enough… until Mewtwo also didn't get into the fourth tournament. It baffled him why Master Hand didn't invite him, but he had already decided not to think about it too much.

Ness closed his eyes, thinking. "But it would be nice to have someone else to talk to. Someone relatable."

"You mean someone like me?"

Ness recognized that psychic voice in his head. Opening his eyes, he looked around to see if the voice was nearby. His eyes made contact with a familiar Pokémon, looking at him with a smile on his face.

"Mewtwo!"

"Hey, Ness! Long time no see!"

Ness climbed out of the rafters, heading out towards Mewtwo near the mansion's West Entrance. He ran over to Mewtwo, immediately hugging him after not seeing him for so long. He then remembered what Mewtwo said on hugs back in the Melee era, letting go. "Oh, uh… sorry. I forgot for a moment that you're not big on hugs."

To his surprise, Mewtwo re-engaged the hug. "You're an exception."

Ness smiled. "So, what are you doing back here, anyways? You didn't make the roster for the new tournament."

Mewtwo nodded. "This is true. But Master Hand extended an invitation for me to be invited as DLC for the tournament."

"Really?!" Ness said in surprise. "That's great!"

Lucario spoke up to Mewtwo. "I really hate to interrupt this happy reunion, but we really should tell Master Hand that you're here."

Mewtwo nodded. "Lucario's right. Ness, I'll meet up with you again right after I get my moveset. And then… we battle."

"Looking forward to it!" Ness nodded in response.

Lucario led Mewtwo back into the mansion, leaving Ness outside to continue practicing.

* * *

Soon enough, the two Pokémon were finally at the door to Master Hand's office.

"Well, you ready for this?" Lucario asked his comrade.

Mewtwo shrugged. "As ready as I can be."

The two comrades walked into the Hand's office, only to be greeted by the sight of a spastic left hand tightly squeezing a soft, furry character.

"He's so adorable!" the left hand squealed. "Please, brother! Let me keep him as a pet! Oh, please! Oh, please! Oh, please!"

"Riki… can't… breathe." the poor creature managed to gasp.

"Crazy! How many times do I have to tell you? You can't have a pet, much less someone who's an Assist Trophy!" Master Hand scolded.

"But… but, brother…"

Silence filled the air for a minute or so. Crazy Hand sighed. "Oh fine." he muttered, dropping the little furball and then teleporting away.

The poor creature started gasping for air, before very quickly running out of the office and away from the psychotic hand.

"Looks like Crazy Hand hasn't changed a bit." Mewtwo chuckled.

Just now, Master Hand took notice of the voice and saw who it was. "Mewtwo? You're here?"

Mewtwo smirked, nodding. "Indeed. I've accepted your invitation. And I'm willing to fight in the Smash tournament once more… as long as you balance me better as you promised in the letter."

"Yes, of course." Master Hand agreed. "I'm a Hand of my word."

A purple light began to glow around Mewtwo. He marveled as he felt himself being changed… he felt himself getting stronger. What this meant for his moveset, he didn't know. But he was eagerly looking forward to test this in battle.

Needless to say, he had a match to attend.

* * *

_Super Smash Bros © Nintendo_

Finally, another chapter up. A bit shorter than the previous one, but I'm satisfied with it. I do want to ask something, though. I'm not really sure about the whole 'two Samuses' thing from the first chapter. It made a nice joke I guess, but I don't know if I really want to keep Samtwo as an actual character. I'm thinking of ret-conning it early on so there would be no later contradictions, but I'm willing to hear your suggestions if you want me to keep her.

And of course, read and review.


	3. The Psychic Battle! Ness vs Mewtwo!

Story of Smashers

Chapter 3: The Great Psychic Battle! Ness vs Mewtwo!

* * *

"Time to find out how my Smash moveset has changed and put it to the test." Mewtwo said. "Master Hand, do you mind scheduling a match for me?"

"That depends." Master Hand replied. "They need to be available and not have a match already scheduled today. Who is-"

"Ness."

"To the point, huh Mewtwo? I appreciate that." Master Hand floated over to one of numerous spiral notebooks stacked rather haphazardly into a pile on the floor.

Mewtwo and Lucario looked in a bit of curiosity as Master Hand dug through the pile. "Master Hand?" Lucario inquired. "Not to be rude or anything, but it's not like you to keep things so… so in-a-giant-messy-pile."

"And you are right, Lucario. It's not. However, Crazy Hand thought he could use this all to 'housetrain' Riki as his pet." Master Hand said. "I do love my brother, but the things he does sometimes… and Mom wondered why I grew up to be the stern one."

Mewtwo and Lucario looked at each other in concern about the possibility of Master and Crazy Hand SOMEHOW having a mother, but didn't want to think too deeply about that.

"Let's see… Ah ha! Found it." the Hand said triumphantly, holding a spiral notebook with Ness's name on it. He flipped it open, looking through today's date.

"You're in luck, Mewtwo. He has no matches scheduled today. Bring him over here with you, and we can set one up."

Mewtwo smirked confidently. "I imagine he'll be up for a match. I just talked to him, and I think he'll be quite excited for one."

Master Hand chuckled. "Don't get too confident, Mewtwo. It's not quite the same here like the Melee tournament. We have gained many, many great Smashers now, and Ness in particular is pulling in a lot of good results for himself."

"Then I look forward to the challenge." With those words, Mewtwo stepped out, going to get Ness.

* * *

"Home Run #47… Gosh, I'm bored."

Ness had been hitting home runs since Mewtwo left to speak to Master Hand. As expected, he had been doing well. Still… Mewtwo had only been gone for half an hour, and Ness was already starting to miss him. It was only a quick 'hello', after all, and Ness was still glad to see him back. But there was one thing Ness wanted with Mewtwo, more than anything else.

"How about a match?"

Ness's eyes widened in surprise. He turned from the base he was batting at to see Mewtwo at the door to the Mansion, with a confident grin on his face.

"You read my mind." Ness said, putting up his bat in his backpack, following Mewtwo.

"I didn't literally need to read your mind to know that." Mewtwo smiled, leading the two of them to Master Hand's office.

* * *

"So, what kind of match are you looking to have?" Master Hand asked, jotting down details into both Ness's and Mewtwo's journals.

Ness was first to speak up. "I think we'll do a Stock match. Say… no items, and 3 stock at 8 minutes?"

"Will you be using regular stages or Omega stages?" Master Hand asked.

Mewtwo had a look of puzzlement on his face. "Omega stages? What would those be?"

"Omega stages are a recent feature added to the 4th tournament." Master Hand explained to Mewtwo. "They turn any stage into a Final Destination form, while keeping the aesthetics of the stage you are fighting on."

Mewtwo thought about it for a bit. "Yeah, I think I'll try one of these."

Ness cheered. "Alright! I can't wait to show you the new Magicant stage!"

Mewtwo looked curious. "Magicant? Didn't you tell me that was where you fought the evil part of your mind and became far stronger?"

"Sort of. This Magicant stage is… well, I'll let you see it for yourself!" Ness laughed, dragging Mewtwo out. Chuckling, Mewtwo came with him.

* * *

Ness and Mewtwo had already entered the teleporter and were transported into the Omega version of Magicant. The match had not yet 'officially' started, and Mewtwo couldn't help but marvel at the beauty of the stage, staring at the dimensional rift with images of Ninten and Ness on their adventures.

"Wow. This is absolutely beautiful. Back in Melee, only the Fountain of Dreams stage got close to being this amazing."

Ness chuckled. "I would know. I was there. Anyway, you here to actually fight or just gawk at the scenery?"

Mewtwo faced back towards Ness, nodding. "I'm ready to fight. Start the timer." he said, both of them walking towards opposite ends of the stage.

"3…"

Ness tugged at his cap, smiling.

"2…"

Mewtwo smirked, starting to levitate slightly above the ground.

"1…"

Both of them stared intensely at the other, determined to win at all costs.

"GO!"

The two of them dashed forward, both of them launching a dash attack. Mewtwo's dash attack was more powerful and negated Ness's, sending him up in the air. He attempted to follow up and slash forward with his forward aerial, but Ness spun in place, negating Mewtwo's attack and damaging him with a neutral aerial.

Mewtwo rolled back to the end of the stage, starting to charge up his Shadow Ball. Ness attempted to annoy him from a distance with PK Thunder, but Mewtwo simply rolled to avoid the attack as he finished charging.

After Mewtwo finished charging, he went back to approaching Ness. Ness tried to space with a PK Fire, but Mewtwo deflected it back at him, sending it back into Ness and trapping him within the pillar of fire. Mewtwo took the chance to charge up and launch Ness away with a powerful Down Smash attack. What could only be described as a red electric spark appeared in a flash as Ness went flying off of the stage. Mewtwo even took the chance to taunt, spinning around and laughing.

"Looks like I still have the hang of things." Mewtwo laughed.

Ness came back on the revival platform, determined to beat Mewtwo. Ness was down by one, but certainly not out.

"Not for long, you don't." Ness smirked. He now started to play the keep-away game, keeping Mewtwo away from him and racking up damage through small attacks, PK Fire, and PK Thunder.

"Playing keepaway, huh? How's about this?!" Mewtwo shouted, firing off his fully charged Shadow Ball at Ness. Mewtwo was convinced he had Ness, until he realized Ness reflected the Shadow Ball with his bat.

And it was heading straight for him.

"Mother of…"

Mewtwo didn't even get a chance to react as he was launched off of the stage by his own Shadow Ball. He soon spawned back onto the revival platform, now at an even two stocks.

"Oh, that's how you want to play? All right, then." Mewtwo smirked slyly, falling off the revival platform. He ran up to Ness, shielding against the forward tilt Ness did. But before Mewtwo could perform his grab, Ness took advantage of the shielding Mewtwo by grabbing him first, using his down throw to send sparks of PK Fire at him. Mewtwo was also send up at just the right angle for Ness to follow up with three forward aerials before Mewtwo could even air dodge out of it, leaving Mewtwo heavily damaged.

Mewtwo breathed heavily at the end of Ness's long combo. "Heh… not bad. You've stepped up your game. Looks like I need to step up mine."

Mewtwo ran up to Ness again. Predicting that Ness would go for a grab again, he sidestepped the grab perfectly. Now, he grabbed Ness, delivering a few pummels of psychic energy through Ness before throwing Ness down and delivering a quick and powerful forward aerial. The attack was enough to get Ness off-stage, but not enough to knock him out. As Ness attempted to recover by shooting PK Thunder into himself, Mewtwo took the chance to try and intercept PK Thunder, remembering how long in a circular arc it travelled in the Melee tournament.

Unfortunately for Mewtwo, he failed to realize that PK Thunder's arc was now FAR tighter in this tournament, so he took the full force of the PK Thunder-charged Ness. With his moderately high percentage and light weight, Mewtwo went soaring off the stage at a truly insane speed. Ness also managed to recover and grab the ledge.

Mewtwo was soon on the revival platform, on his last stock. "My gosh. Since when was that attack so powerful?!" he exclaimed, rather stunned.

Ness chuckled, pulling himself up from the ledge. "Didn't I tell you I was massively buffed this time?"

It was now Ness at 2 stocks and Mewtwo at 1. He had to be careful, or Mewtwo faced a real possibility of losing.

Ness started to play the keep-away game again, trying to annoy Mewtwo with more PK Fires and PK Thunders. Mewtwo knew what Ness was planning now, now perfect-shielding all of Ness's attacks. He finally got to Ness, grabbing him and throwing him ahead with his forward throw, sending a stream of Shadow Balls through him. As Ness was still stunned, Mewtwo took the chance to spike Ness with his down aerial, sending him plummeting down and losing a stock.

Ness chuckled upon spawning on the revival platform. "Nice spike. But now, we both only have one life left. You ready?"

Mewtwo answered. "I like the stakes this high. Let's go."

Ness and Mewtwo prepared for attacking, with Mewtwo charging a Shadow Ball once more. Ness ran up to Mewtwo, predicting and perfect-shielding Mewtwo's thrown Shadow Ball. He sent a PK Fire at Mewtwo, trapping him in the pillar of fire as Ness grabbed and rapidly pummeled him. Ness racked up further damage by using his Down-Throw, and two forward aerials instead of three. He spaced himself from Mewtwo, just a bit below him. Mewtwo attempted a down-aerial to send Ness plummeting again, but Ness quickly used his powerful Up-Aerial to send Mewtwo flying off of the top, KOing him. Mewtwo was a bit surprised to go SPLAT! on the camera as he lost his final stock.

"This game's winner is…"

In a generated and plain field, Ness swung his bat around, holding it out in victory.

"Ness!"

After the battle was over, the two left the teleporter, both of them smiling.

"Wow, Ness. You really have improved." Mewtwo complimented.

"Thanks." he said. "But you were a tough match, too. That spike was great!"

"And I didn't know that knockback on that PK Thunder-charge was so powerful." Mewtwo added.

"But in any case, it was a good match." Ness said, holding out his hand for Mewtwo to shake, which Mewtwo accepted graciously.

"Now, come on. Let's go get some lunch." Ness said again, leading the way. "The others will be happy to see you!"

* * *

Before the duo could even reach the cafeteria, Master Hand had already arrived first, preparing to speak.

"Excuse me, Smashers. May I have your attention?"

Everyone stopped what they were doing to look at Master Hand. It was a rule that if Master Hand has an announcement, EVERYONE has to shut up and pay attention. Those who failed to do so and disrespected him had to write a 100-page essay on respecting authority. Wario learned that the hard way. Needless to say, nobody wanted that.

"Thank you. Now, I have an important announcement to make. One of our Smashers that was previously cut will be returning today. He is in the middle of a match with Ness, but when you do get to see him, please give him a 'hello' and welcome him back."

Awkward silence pierced the air for a bit until Rosalina raised her hand.

"Yes, Rosalina?" Master Hand said.

"Uhh, not to be rude but… you didn't tell us who this Smasher is."

Master Hand was silent for a while before chuckling. "Right, right. I must be getting senile in my age. Anyway, this Smasher is…"

Master Hand was interrupted by the sound of footsteps coming into the cafeteria. The doors opened to reveal Ness and the powerful Psychic-type Pokémon, Mewtwo.

Master Hand was caught by surprise. "Oh! Umm… it's Mewtwo everyone! Uhh… surprise."

Awkward silence pierced the air again as everyone looked at Mewtwo before they went back to eating.

"That was a heartwarming welcome." Mewtwo thought sarcastically.

"Anyway, get back to… whatever you were doing." Master Hand muttered, floating out of the room.

Mewtwo looked around the room. A number of the Smashers he recognized. Mario, Link, Fox, Samus, Captain Falcon, Marth…

"That unpleasant Jigglypuff…" Mewtwo thought to himself in disdain.

But there were plenty he didn't recognize. Some really buff dude with spiky blue hair and a heavy yellow sword, a puffball like Kirby but with wings and a metal mask, a green-haired woman that towered over many of the others, a brown-haired angel boy pretty much waiting on said woman hand and foot, a short boxer, a woman who looked very similar to Marth, another woman wearing a tank top with almost unsettling white skin and a toned body, and more, along with the Shulk, Rosalina, and Greninja that Mewtwo had already met.

"Ness. I think I'll sit next to those new guys." Mewtwo said, referring to the newcomers of this tournament.

Ness nodded. "All right. I'll just go sit back at the Original 12 table." he said, getting his food and going over to said table.

Soon enough, Mewtwo got his food and went over to sit at the table with the people he never saw before.

"Hey, Mewtwo!" Greninja waved, signaling him over. "You want to-"

"Come sit with you, yes. I was already planning to do that." Mewtwo finished, leaving Greninja slightly embarrassed.

Mewtwo sat on the seat between Greninja and the green-haired woman.

"So uh, why don't we start off with introductions?" Greninja suggested. "Mewtwo, you can go first."

"All right." Mewtwo suggested. "I'm Mewtwo. I'm a genetic clone of the Legendary Pokémon Mew. I killed my creators and blew up their lab for trying to play God and make me their toy to experiment on. I also tried to take over the world using clones of other Pokémon, but I'm over that phase now. I've been living peacefully in Cerulean Cave until I came to the Melee tournament, but I was nerfed for the tournament so badly that I couldn't defeat a mere Jigglypuff…" Mewtwo's eyes narrowed, glaring at Jigglypuff at the other table. "But I didn't come back for the Brawl tournament, but I was invited as DLC for this tournament. And so, here I am."

Awkward silence happened at the table again, mostly because of the whole 'genetic experiment' and 'take over the world' thing.

Mewtwo spoke up again. "If it's any reassurance, I'm most definitely over my 'take over the world' phase."

Greninja spoke up. "And I am Greninja! I was living peacefully in Kalos under the ownership of a trainer named Calem, after we stopped this insane madman from trying to destroy all life with an ancient weapon from 3,000 years ago. But I got a letter inviting me to Smash, and Calem told me to go for it. And so, here I am."

The green-haired woman was next. "I'm Palutena, the Goddess of Light. I rule over Skyworld and make sure things are in order. Recently, we had to stop an evil God named Hades, who by the way is nothing like the Disney or Greek version. Horrible guy. But thanks to Pit, me, Viridi, and the forces of Skyworld, we all stopped Hades and peace returned to the gods and the humans. After that, Pit received his invitation back, and me and Dark Pit also got invitations." She said, pointing at someone who looked very similar to Pit, except with black hair and a very 'edgy' feeling to him.

"I was dragged here against my will. Had to be a freaking clone of Pit…" the black-haired angel boy grumbled.

When Dark Pit went silent again, the woman who looked similar to Marth spoke up. "And I'm Lucina, the daughter of Chrom. I was invited after he, Robin, and I all stopped Grima from taking over our world. I am honored to have my moveset based off of the Hero-King Marth."

The man with white hair, a brown robe, and a magician's tome spoke up, next to Lucina. "I would be Robin. Lucina and I both received invitations, and I use a moveset based off of swordplay and magic. I must admit, I thought Chrom would've been chosen over me. Then again, fate works in mysterious ways."

The woman wearing the tank top and white skin next to Robin spoke up. "And I'm Wii Fit Trainer."

Mewtwo was a bit silent. "…Wii Fit Trainer? That's… your actual name?"

"Yes." She answered bluntly.

"…Continue." Mewtwo shrugged.

"I run a fitness program called 'Wii Fit', designed to make exercise fun and engaging. It was adapted into a video game, and was very successful. Later, I received an invitation to Smash Bros. So I decided to come and help encourage others to exercise and eat healthy."

Her eyes widened, as if suddenly alert, looking at a piece of food Greninja had gotten. She looked at the frog Pokémon in disappointment. "Greninja. What is that?"

Greninja blushed, stuttering nervously. "Um, uh… a brownie."

"What have I said about desserts? They're bad for you and very fattening."

"But… but I like brownies." Greninja pleaded, his eyes wide open and looking adorably innocent.

Wii Fit Trainer shook her head in disappointment, taking the brownie and throwing in it the trash can.

"Aww…" Greninja hung his head, depressed over losing his brownie.

The short boxer that Mewtwo saw earlier introduced himself, finishing up his sandwich. "And I'm Little Mac. Don't underestimate me just because of my size!"

"And I'm Rosalina." She smiled, now shaking Mewtwo's hand. "I believe we met earlier, right?"

Mewtwo nodded. "I liked that trick you pulled with those two kids."

Rosalina chuckled. "They're OK now. But they've learned not to mess with my babies ever again."

"Teach me how to warp things like that sometime."

Rosalina nodded. "I will."

"And that's a number of the newcomers here." Shulk concluded. "Well… except for that dog. Never liked him.

"There are more new friends besides us for you to meet, Mewtwo!" Greninja said happily.

"…I'm thrilled beyond belief." Mewtwo said, completely deadpan.

"I knew you would be!" Greninja cheered, completely missing the sarcasm.

"…Anyway, it was nice to meet all of you. I suppose I'll see how everyone else is later." Mewtwo said, standing up with his tray after he finished eating. He disposed of the food he didn't eat, and then put up the tray to be washed. He was about to head to his room when suddenly…

Master Hand burst through the door again. "My apologies! But please don't leave yet!" He said, facing the Smashers. Some of them grumbled on not being able to leave yet, but didn't dare risk the wrath of Master Hand.

"Again, so sorry. But I have an announcement… again!"

* * *

_Super Smash Bros. © Nintendo_

We got a fair bit done here. Ness and Mewtwo have their match, they go to eat lunch to meet some more Smashers, and it appears that Master Hand has yet another announcement to make. What is it? Well… I'll let you figure that one out.

As always, read and review!


	4. Guessing Games

Story of Smashers

Chapter 4: Guessing Games

* * *

"So, out with it. What's the new announcement?" Mewtwo inquired.

"Everybody." Master Hand proclaimed, getting the attention of everyone. "I have three new fighters to announce for the fourth Super Smash Bros. Tournament. Please go to the auditorium for the formal reveal." He said, motioning everyone to go there.

Mewtwo followed, but couldn't help wonder why he didn't get a formal announcement like this. As everybody walked, there was a lot of talk and wondering about who it could be.

"You think one of them is Young Link?" Link asked his cartoon self.

"I doubt it. I don't want a third version of me to compete with." Toon Link said.

"Well, Doc already came back." Mario pointed out.

"Yeah, but Luigi's not really a third version of you anymore. He's really his own character now." Link pointed out, knowing how much Luigi's style of fighting evolved from the original tournament.

"By that logic, I suppose Roy is ruled out since we have Lucina. And the whole Roy Koopa thing." Marth sighed sadly. "He was like, my best friend in the Melee tournament. I didn't care that he was low-tier."

"I wouldn't be so down about Roy, Marth." Ike tried to encourage his friend. "He's really popular with the Melee fans. And that version of Smash Bros is one of the most popular video game adaptations of the tournament. Heck, he was added back in Project-"

"Shh!" Marth quickly hushed his Fire Emblem friend. "Master Hand hates to hear about 'that mod'! I don't mind it, but those tournaments of it are underground for a reason."

"Oh." Ike said, never really knowing about Master Hand's dislike against the modified Brawl Tournament. "OK, I guess."

Things went awkwardly silent between Marth and Ike as Ness walked ahead, next to his pal Toon Link.

"I hope Lucas makes it back." Ness voiced his hope to Toon Link.

"I hope Young Link doesn't comes back." Toon Link grumbled. "I mean, three of me? That's ridiculous."

Ness rolled his eyes. "Seriously, Toon. It would be nice."

Toon Link sighed. "Of course it would. I know that. We were all friends. But don't get your hopes up. It'll make things easier so we don't get crush by our disappointment."

"I guess. I mean, I've got Mewtwo. I'm happy about this." Ness smiled softly.

Toon Link nodded back, also grinning. "And I'm happy for you too, Ness."

Ness dashed ahead to see his old friend Mewtwo further up in the line. "You have any thoughts as to who might be in this announcement?"

"I doubt any Pokémon characters." Mewtwo voiced. "I came back pretty recently, and six Pokémon are pretty good for what our franchise covers at the tournament."

"I hope Lucas comes back." Ness said to Mewtwo. "He was a bit of a fraidy-cat, but he was really nice and… he helped fill this empty hole I had when you left. Even with you back… it's only partially filled. I'm not sure if I'm explaining this right, but…"

Mewtwo silenced Ness by softly putting his hand in front of Ness's mouth. "I understand what you mean, Ness. Aside from meeting your friend, I would love to see another powerful psychic like yourself."

Ness nodded. "Yeah. He's pretty powerful himself. I mean, he helped defeat Porky when he fled Onett and time-travelled to Lucas's world. That no-good backstabber. He royally screwed things up in his world, but Lucas put a stop to it. His world, the Nowhere Islands, were restored… but at the cost of his mother's and brother's lives."

"Wow. That's pretty deep." Mewtwo said.

"Yeah. But he told me things were better after he left to go home when the Brawl tournament was over. Made amends with his father and he's getting along well now. We kept in contact with letters and phone calls, but he's gone silent recently. I hope he's OK…" Ness muttered.

"I hope so too, Ness." Mewtwo said, hugging the young boy. "I hope so too."

* * *

Samus, armored in her Varia Suit but with her helmet off, grimaced as they walked. There were two popular choices from her series as DLC, and she was praying that neither one of them got in.

The first-most popular choice BY FAR was her long-time nemesis Ridley, who had destroyed her home and had brutally massacred her parents. And after THAT, Ridley helped to destroy the Chozo race, who had taken her in as a kind of foster child after she was the only survivor of her planet's destruction. Needless to say, if Ridley was DLC, it meant living under the same roof as him, and it would take every ounce of willpower she had to not murder him.

The second-most popular choice for Metroid DLC wasn't someone Samus wanted to live with, either. Dark Samus. Samus despised her Phazon-based doppelganger, being responsible for the spread of Phazon, a dangerous and deadly cancer-like substance in her home galaxy. Along with nearly infecting Samus's entire galaxy with Phazon, Dark Samus killed three of the only people that Samus could actually call 'friends'. It would take every ounce of willpower she had to not murder HER, either.

"God forbid they both get in." she grumbled under her breath. Personally, she was hoping for one person she still DID have as a friend: Anthony Higgs. During the events of the Bottle Ship, a time she was emotionally struggling after the death of her baby Metroid, he was the only guy there friendly and affectionate towards her. He had helped save her life too, snapping her out of her emotional breakdown against Ridley. It was a time she hated to talk about, but she couldn't be more thankful for Anthony. Still, she would have to wait and see like everyone else.

* * *

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of walking, the Smashers arrived at the large auditorium.

"It's about freaking time!" Bowser sighed in exasperation.

"Line up and take your seats." Master Hand said to the Smashers as they walked in, completely ignoring Bowser. Most of the Smashers sat with other characters from their own franchise: Mario with Luigi and Peach, Bowser with his son, Link with Zelda and Sheik, Fox with Falco, etc. Ness was the sole rep for his EarthBound franchise now, so he decided to sit with his friend Mewtwo.

Zelda sat down next to Sheik, a weird moment considering that they were technically the same person. Master Hand had actually brought the Zelda from Ocarina of Time back, who carried the 'Sheik' persona while she stayed there.

"A bit awkward, huh?" Zelda said to Sheik, looking over to her.

"I'd say the same." Sheik chuckled a bit, relaxing in her chair. "At least we don't have Toon Zelda to make things more awkward."

"Toon Link is already livid at the idea of Young Link possibly coming back." Zelda said.

"Who would want three of them under the same roof?" Sheik replied, imagining the confusion a Link, Toon Link, and Young Link would all bring.

* * *

Meanwhile, Shulk was forced to sit down next to Sonic. He was among the last ones in there, and NOBODY wanted to sit next to Sonic, leaving only one seat at the side of the auditorium for Shulk to sit it. Right now, the floor was looking pretty appealing.

"So Shulk… you can see the future and all that, right?" Sonic asked, like an overly-hyper young child.

The wielder of the Monado sighed. "Yes."

"So… that means you know who will get in as DLC, right?"

"Sonic, it doesn't work like…"

"So is it Tails? Knuckles? Amy? Shadow? Dr. Eggman? Actually, I wouldn't really want it to be Eggman, but I could beat up Egghead any time I wanted. Or maybe Shadow, I could really show that faker who's the real faker! Or the real one? I mean…"

Shulk sighed. "Shadow is an assist trophy, Sonic. I don't think assist trophies in the current game can be DLC."

"Well, that still leaves Tails, Knuckles, Amy, Jet, Sticks, Rouge, Cream, Blaze, Elise…" Sonic shuddered at the memories that last person brought up. He never wanted to touch human lips again after that. "I take that last one back. I mean SHE'S the one into bestiality, not me! I was dead at the time. Wait, does that mean she's into hedgehogs AND the dead?! Oh, that is just sick and wrong!"

Shulk grimaced at this. "I'm… going to try to find another seat." He muttered, walking away quietly as Sonic tried to cope with his disturbing revelation.

* * *

Mario sat between his brother Luigi and the love of his life Peach. "Think they'll be another character from our franchise?" Mario asked.

"I doubt it." Luigi said. "I mean, we already have you, the doctor version of you, me, Peach, Bowser, Rosalina, and Bowser Jr. You could argue for Yoshi, Wario, and DK and Diddy as well. That's like…" Luigi started to count on his fingers. "Five, six, seven Mario characters. Eleven if you include spinoff characters. And that goes to an absolutely massive eighteen if you include Bowser Jr's Koopaling alts."

"Hmm… Maybe we'll get Daisy?" Peach suggested. The three were quiet for a moment before bursting out into laughter, the idea being considered ridiculous by them.

"Oh, that's a good one, Peach." Mario laughed. "Daisy. Heh. But seriously, any ideas? And I mean, GOOD ideas?"

Peach stopped her laughter, tears in her eyes. "Captain Toad seems reasonable."

"What about that whole 'no jumping' thing, though?" Mario asked.

"Didn't stop characters like Ness and Captain Falcon, who don't even jump in their own games." Luigi pointed out.

* * *

Speaking of Captain Falcon, he was trying to flirt with a certain bounty huntress and failing at it… miserably.

"Come on, babe. Just one date. That's all I ask. You really could fall in love with THE FALCON!"

Samus rolled her eyes, having to unfortunately sit next to the F-Zero racer. "Falcon. You can't seem to get this through that thick skull of yours. I have said no for the past three tournaments, every single time you've asked me. I have refused you a total of 137 times. What makes you think the 138th time will be any different?"

Falcon smirked. "You know what they say, babe. The 138th time is the charm!"

Samus could only sigh, weighing her options. On one hand, one date with Captain Falcon MIGHT make him shut up and get it through when she shows that she didn't enjoy the date. On the other hand… it was a date with Captain Falcon.

"One date, and you'll stop bothering me about this?"

"Probably not." Falcon smirked smugly, attempting to caress Samus's hair. "But you'll love the Falcon anyway." He then started to move his hand down, attempting to insert his hand into Samus's Varia Suit.

Samus grabbed his hand out of there, held it in front of him with an iron grip, and crushed his hand, surely breaking several bones.

"AHHH! MOTHER OF…!"

"If you ever try that again, you're going to lose a lot more than one hand." She said darkly. Falcon ran out of the auditorium, screaming for Doctor Mario… who was in the auditorium with the rest of the Smashers, but Falcon kinda forgot about that. Soon, someone approached the empty seat.

"Is this seat taken?" a blonde Monado-wielder asked.

"Go ahead." Samus said. Shulk sat down, pretty relieved.

"Let me guess, Sonic?" Samus smirked.

"Yes. Oh goodness, he is AWFUL!" Shulk snapped. "He never cleans up his side of the room which makes my room a biohazard, he never stops stuffing his mouth with chili dogs, and he won't stop asking me the next week's winning lottery numbers! Mario must have the patience of a saint to put up with him in those Olympic Games events they do."

"I can't say that I blame you." Samus comforted the young man. "Falcon gets on my nerves in similar ways. He just can't seem to get the word 'no' through his head. I wouldn't mind having a guy, but not someone like Falcon."

"You wouldn't? You mean… you're open for dating?" Shulk asked.

"I suppose so. I mean, if the guy was decent. Wait. Are you trying to ask me out?"

Shulk blushed, his face glowing bright red. "Oh no no no no. I… I think you're a very beautiful woman Samus, but I only have eyes for Fiora. I guess what I was trying to say is… if you ever wanted to try dating, I think there's plenty of guys here that are available. You have Little Mac, you have Ike, there's Lucario and you guys have a lot in common if you can get over the fact that Lucario is kinda-sorta…"

"A Pokémon?" Samus finished. "Thanks, but I'll pass on dating outside my own species… Although… hmm. I'll think about it, Shulk. And I'll get back to you on that. Promise."

Shulk chuckled, a bit nervously yet partly in disbelief. "Really? Oh, well uh… thanks."

* * *

"ATTENTION!"

Everyone in the auditorium stopped speaking with their friends/pals/mortal enemies to pay attention to Master Hand, who was up on-stage to begin.

"Thank you." Master Hand said. "Now that I have your undivided attention, I'll start the announcements momentarily. All of the upcoming DLC characters are backstage and will come forward when they are announced. But first, I think a formal introduction for our first-ever DLC character is at hand! Pardon the pun. Mewtwo, come on up here!"

Mewtwo levitated up to the stage. "Well, thank you Master Hand. I, for one, am glad to…"

Master Hand looked at the clock. "Oh drat. Sorry Mewtwo, we're behind schedule with a match in 45 minutes. I'll have to cut your speech short." He said, levitating Mewtwo back to his seat.

"Hey! I didn't even get to…" Mewtwo was cut short as he was unceremoniously dropped into his chair. "…No respect for the ultimate Pokémon." He grumbled.

"In any case, give a warm welcome to our second-ever DLC character. He's a veteran, and I'm sure the Brawl Tournament goers will remember him. The Boy from the Nowhere Islands, give a round of applause to Lucas!"

Ness's jaw dropped in both awe and delight as Lucas dashed up to the stage, a confident grin on his face. Mewtwo simply smiled, happy for Ness and eager to meet the new psychic.

"Thank you, Master Hand." Lucas said. "I'm glad to be back from Brawl, and I hope I can do a good job representing the Nowhere Islands and my family in this tournament."

Lucas stepped off-stage, immediately dashing up to where he saw Ness. The two hugged each other, glad to be friends once again.

"Oh Lucas, I'm so glad you're back! With you and Mewtwo back, things are looking really bright." Ness smiled.

"Mewtwo? The Pokémon you told me about during the Brawl Tournament?"

Ness nodded, motioning towards the Psychic-type Pokémon. "Now don't be scared, Lucas. He's a…"

Ness stopped mid-sentence as Lucas confidently approached Mewtwo, holding out his hand. "Hey there, Mewtwo. I'm Lucas. It's nice to finally meet you."

Mewtwo seemed surprised as well, before chuckling and shaking Lucas's hand. "I thought you said he was a bit of a fraidy-cat."

Lucas looked at Ness, and then at Mewtwo. "Ever since the events of what Porky did and the Subspace Emissary incident, I've become a lot more confident in myself. After Porky and Tabuu, I feel like I could face anything. I'm not so scared anymore, Ness."

Ness only smiled, offering the seat next to him for Lucas to sit on. The three psychics would get along just fine.

"Now for our third DLC character announcement!" Master Hand proclaimed, all of the attention turning back to him.

"I think our Fire Emblem fans will be happy to hear this one."

"Probably Chrom…" Marth sighed in disappointment.

"Representing the Game Boy Advance era of Fire Emblem, I give you the Young Lion, Roy!"

A familiar redhead walked up to the stand out of the shadows. Many of the Brawl newcomers had confusion written on their faces, but most of the Melee veterans such as Marth, Link, and Mewtwo recognized him right off the bat. But Roy was no longer the lanky teenager from Melee. Apparently, he hit the gym HARD, because Roy was far more muscular and fit compared to when he was in the Melee tournament.

"Wow. Roy is… quite attractive now." Peach said, trying her hardest not to blush.

"I think we found another candidate for you." Shulk chuckled to Samus, with the bounty hunter also blushing before she could react.

"I have pretty much the same things to say as Lucas. Just replace 'Brawl' with 'Melee' and 'Nowhere Islands' with 'Pherae'." Roy said, getting a chuckle out of the audience. At least, from the Melee veterans. "But in all seriousness, I've been training quite a bit. My moveset is a bit different, and I think you guys will see that I've stepped up my game. I look forward to battling all of you and making new friends."

Roy was met with applause as he stepped off of the stage, going back up to greet Marth.

"Welcome back, pal." Marth said with a genuine smile on his face, hugging his friend. "Come on, I'll introduce you to Ike, Robin, and my descendant Lucina."

Roy sat in between Marth and Ike, with Ike being the first to introduce himself. "Hey there. Marth has told me a lot about you. I'm Ike, leader of the Greil Mercenaries. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Roy smiled. "It's great to meet you too, Ike."

Ike smirked a little bit. "But don't expect any sympathy from me on the battlefield."

"Wouldn't expect any less than your best."

The white-haired man next to Ike nodded. "And I'm Robin. I'm the Tactician for the Shepards. It's… kinda-sorta like a mercenary thing like Ike's. I also hail from Ylisse, which is actually Marth's homeland of Akaneia but thousands of years in the future."

Lucina stepped up. "And I'm the Hero-King Marth's great-great-great-great…"

"Descendant." Marth finished for her.

"I see." Roy nodded. "Well, it's great to meet you all."

Shortly after Roy finished his introductions to the rest of the Fire Emblem cast, Master Hand spoke up again. "And finally, last but most certainly not least, give a round of applause to…"

"Talk is cheap, Master Hand. I can introduce myself just fine."

The famous fighting wanderer Ryu came out of the shadows, gave a simple wave, and sat down in a spare seat. The crowd roared in applause to see the famous fighter from Street Fighter join Smash Bros.

Master Hand was silent for a moment after the applause died down. "A-And that's Ryu." He chuckled awkwardly. "So, with all of the-"

Crazy Hand soon floated over to Master Hand. "Uh, brother…"

If Master Hand had eyes, he'd roll them. "What is it, Crazy?"

"It's about… you-know-who. We need to talk. Privately."

Master Hand seemed to be truly stunned for a moment before regaining his composure. "Err, right. In the back." The two Hands floated way into the back of the auditorium, out of sight from the rest of the Smashers.

Despite being far in the back, Master Hand's exclamations of surprise could clearly be heard as Crazy Hand surprisingly whispered quietly.

"No way. You actually got him?!"

"…"

"He accepted?! So the deal went through!"

"…"

"He's already in the back, waiting to be introduced?!"

Master Hand turned around to see said guest, and Master Hand somehow did a double-take. Despite being only a giant hand. The guest simply nodded quietly as Master Hand floated back up to the stage.

"Err, yes. Sorry about all of that. Turns out we actually have one more new fighter to introduce. A rather… unexpected fighter."

A bit of whispering went out up in the crowds, wondering who came (from what they could tell) so last-minute.

"Who could be so last-minute?" Meta Knight wondered.

King Dedede shrugged. "I don't care, as long as I get to whoop their butt!"

"Who do you think it could be, Lady Palutena?" Pit asked his goddess.

"I don't know, but from what Master Hand said, I think it'll surprise all of us." Palutena answered.

"As long as I get to kick their butt, I don't really care." Dark Pit said, completely apathetic.

"All right, all right. Now, settle down." Master Hand said to the clamoring audience, before taking a deep breath (somehow). "In any case, extend a round of applause for our newest fighter…!"

The sound of boots walking down the auditorium silenced Master Hand, soon stopping at the end. Not even a breath was uttered from the audience.

"I believe you will recognize me." The guest said simply.

The audience was dead silent before everyone shouted in shock and confusion simultaneously.

"CLOUD STRIFE?!"

* * *

_Super Smash Bros © Nintendo_

_ All 3__rd__-Party Characters © Their Respective Owners_

Yep, I decided to condense the timeline a bit here and introduce ALL DLC characters and stages at this point. I'm not going to be too finicky about the chronological 'debut as DLC', because that would complicate things. Here, Lucas, Roy, Ryu, and 'surprise character' Cloud are all introduced at once. Dream Land 64, Peach's Castle 64, Hyrule Castle 64, Miiverse, Suzaku Castle, Super Mario Maker, and Pirate Ship will likely appear as stages for future fights.

Heh. In a weird way, procrastinating on writing this chapter was a good thing. Also, sorry for Mother 3 spoilers. XP

And also, this will likely be the only mention of Project M in this fanfic. I'd rather not distract from the story on why that is, so just PM/note me for details on that should you desire them and refrain from asking about it as a review or in the comments.


	5. Polly Want a Cracker?

Story of Smashers

Chapter 5: Polly Want a Cracker?

* * *

A/N: I might (probably will) introduce Corrin and Bayonetta sometime in a future chapter. However… given the kind of character Bayonetta is, I feel like I'd have to increase the rating from K+ to Teen to accurately keep her character unless I wanted an OoC Bayonetta. I will NOT compromise her being OoC for the sake of a rating, so expect this fic's rating to rise to Teen (on FanFiction) when she is introduced. However, she will still be in character to her source games, just toned down like in Smash 4. I'll give her (minor) swears back as well, and she will still be very fanservice-y. I'd hate to do her a disgrace.

* * *

"You seem rather surprised." Cloud spoke to the audience.

'Surprised' would be an understatement. No one, literally no one in the Smash Mansion, would have ever seriously entertained the idea of Cloud Strife joining the battle. The entire mansion always considered someone like Cloud to be a joke suggestion to join the fight, because his game of origin, Final Fantasy VII, was considered a landmark Sony PlayStation title, and symbolic of Final Fantasy's move from Nintendo consoles to Sony consoles. The entire audience was loud and chaotic with confusion. Everyone had very different reactions.

"How?" Falco asked his buddy Fox, both of them in awe. "Just how did Master Hand hook up Cloud freaking Strife from Final Fantasy 7 to join the tournament?"

Fox shrugged. "Beats me. I'm surprised it didn't take a human sacrifice to pull that off."

"At least it wasn't Wolf." Falco smirked. "Because if only one of us could remain in the next tournament, it was going to be me. That wolf can cry all he likes."

"Falco, he beat you within an inch of your life when you bragged that he was cut. If he comes back, you're going to have hell to pay."

Falco's smirk turned into a terrified look in his eyes. He remembered that visit to the hospital. It was NOT a fun 6 months. "Oh… right. You don't think it's likely he'll come back… do you?"

"Considering how much you rubbed it in, I hope he doesn't come back for your sake." Fox laughed.

* * *

"Cloud Strife… by the Goddesses, how could this happen?!" Link griped angrily next to Zelda.

"Link… come on. I thought you were over this. It was the late 90s, for Nayru's sake." Zelda sighed.

"Zelda. Cloud is my arch-rival. My enemy. His Final Fantasy VII was in direct competition with MY Ocarina of Time and is the living embodiment of Nintendo vs Sony! I can't believe Master Hand could do this to us!"

"I, for one, actually look forward to battle with him." Sheik grinned confidently, knowing full well that Cloud was a very strong contender.

"Oh, Sheik! Not you too! You're not siding with me on this?! This is our integrity at stake!"

"Gee, I never thought my older, less toony, counterpart would actually be less mature than me regarding this." laughed the voice of Toon Link.

"Yeah? Easy for you to say. Wind Waker wasn't in direct competition with Final Fantasy FREAKING SEVEN! Am I really the only one with some sort of integrity about our own franchise?!"

"Says the Hylian who still sleeps with a night-light." Toon Link laughed.

Ganondorf could be heard laughing right behind them. "Really? That is some rather… heh… interesting news."

Link sighed, pulling his green cap over his face. Maybe the humiliation would go away if he just ignored it…

* * *

Peach seemed to be almost star-struck with Cloud. Despite the fact that she was currently a couple with Mario, she couldn't help but admire Cloud.

"Wow… He's so muscular and handsome. Imagine being rescued by him…" Peach sighed, already daydreaming about it.

She could picture it now. She was trapped in a cage above a lava pit, with a battle between the villainous Bowser and that hunk Cloud. With just one swing of his giant Buster Sword, Cloud knocked Bowser straight into the lava pit. The swordsman lowered the cage away from the pit and onto the concrete, assisting Peach out like a true gentleman.

"Oh Cloud, thank you so much."

"Anything for a lady as beautiful as you." Cloud smiled, leaning in for a kiss.

"Umm, Peach." Mario said, tapping his hand on Peach's shoulder to catch her attention.

"Yes Cloud, I do…" she muttered.

"Peach!"

"Huh?! What?!" she said in alarm, snapping out of her daydream. In front of her was Yoshi, who had lipstick all over him and was blushing madly. "I umm… I appreciate the kisses Peach, but…"

"Oh. Oh my goodness. Yoshi, I'm so sorry. I guess I got a little distracted…"

Mario laughed. "Ha! A little? It doesn't take a genius to figure out you were fantasizing about Cloud."

Peach felt rather sheepish, chuckling nervously. "Heh. Umm… I apologize about that, Mario."

Mario smiled. "It's fine, Princess. I got a good laugh out of it anyway, so it's no big deal."

Peach only blushed at this, but went ahead and hugged Mario anyways.

"Aww… Peach…" the plumber smiled.

* * *

Mewtwo watched Cloud from where he was at. He had to admit, he was surprised like the others. But now, that was of no concern to him.

"A human with genetic enhancements, huh?" Mewtwo said, knowing full well of Cloud's story. "This should prove to be interesting."

Ness seemed curious at this. "He has genetic enhancements? Cloud? He looks pretty normal to me."

Mewtwo nodded. "He does. If I recall correctly, he is infused with Mako energy and had Jenova cells injected into his body. It makes him far stronger than an average human."

"Wow. That explains how he could use such a gigantic sword so easily. Seriously, it's HUGE!" Ness exclaimed.

"Yes. I most definitely look forward to a battle between the genetic experiment and the genetically enhanced human." Mewtwo smirked, eager to battle Cloud when that time would come.

Lucas looked at Cloud as well, but only had one question in comparison. "…How does he keep his hair so spiky?"

* * *

"All right, all right. Settle down, everyone. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm dealing with a bunch of toddlers… Just find a spare seat, Cloud." Master Hand muttered, letting Cloud sit down.

Cloud looked around, finding a spare seat where the Fire Emblem characters were, walking up and sitting down next to Lucina.

That was a mistake.

"EEEEE! OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH!" she squealed, absolutely fangirling over him. "You're Cloud! I mean, THE Cloud Strife from Final Fantasy VII! Can I ask you some questions? How do you keep your hair so spiky? Did you get together with Tifa or Aerith? YOU'RE HOT! …Can you sign my face?"

Cloud forced himself back in his chair, attempting to get away from Lucina's uncomfortably close position. He looked at Marth, with a mix of 'help me' and 'who on earth is this crazy woman?' on his face.

Marth cleared his throat, prying Lucina off of Cloud. "I… uhh… I apologize, Cloud. It is a great honor to meet a legend such as yourself. And Lucina is normally a very composed lady. But… Lucina is… a big fan of you. Almost disturbingly so."

"I can tell." Cloud deadpanned. "I'm fine as long as she isn't writing smut with me and… Sephiroth." the spiky-haired swordsman shuddered. He never wanted to read a Cloud/Sephiroth yaoi fanfic ever again as long as he lived.

Lucina only blushed at this, quickly retreating back to her seat. Cloud simply sighed.

* * *

Master Hand spoke up again. "Anyway, that's it for now! As I said earlier, we have a scheduled match coming up. It's a classic, the ever popular Mario vs Sonic! Those who wish to attend the match can follow us. Mario, Sonic, and I will head to the teleporter and begin preparations.

Mario leapt out of his seat and walked over to Sonic, who was still talking to himself. "And then there's Chris and Cosmo from the anime, Scratch and Grounder from the cartoon series…"

The plumber sighed in exasperation. "Sonic."

Sonic waved. "Hey, bud. What's up? I'm ready for that match between us!"

Mario nodded, the two following Master Hand to the teleporter which would take them to the stage they wanted to battle on. A couple of other Smashers, specifically Rosalina, Fox, Falco, Samus, and Palutena went along to go into the viewing booth and watch the match live via a camera.

"So, what stage do you want?" Mario asked. "Only legal? Only Omega? All stages?"

"All stages." Sonic affirmed. "Except for Pac-Land. I hate Pac-Land."

"Who doesn't hate Pac-Land?" Samus griped, recalling a match she lost on that stage in her Varia Suit form due to an unfair in-stage fire hydrant pushing her off-stage as she was attempting to throw Donkey Kong off-stage first. The extremely fast scrolling speed of the stage assured the loss of her final stock.

"And it's also hideous." she added under her breath.

Fox looked to Falco. "Hey… Falco. You want to make a little bet?"

Falco's interested was piqued. "I'm listening."

"First off, who do you think is going to win this match? I think Mario will with his great moves and edge-guarding abilities."

Falco scoffed. "Please. It'll be Sonic. As annoying as the guy is, Mario can't match his sheer speed."

"You confident about that?" Fox smirked.

"Since when am I not confident?" Falco bragged.

"OK then. So, if Mario wins then you get to be Crazy Hand's pet for the day."

Falco's eyes widened again. "Are you insane? Who knows what the heck that Hand would do to me?! Did you SEE Riki?! It'll be endless hours of 'Polly want a cracker?' for me!"

"Chicken." Fox challenged.

"I am not… You know what? Fine!" Falco accepted. "But if Sonic wins, then YOU get to be Crazy Hand's pet!"

"Deal." Fox said, offering his hand. Falco took it.

"Prepare to be humiliated by Crazy Hand." Falco laughed. "I'll take pictures. I can only imagine what he'll do to you, if he tried to house-train Riki!"

Fox was silent, though smirking, as the group arrived at the teleportation device. Mario and Sonic stepped on two of the eight teleportation devices, with the extra four having been installed for the new 8-player matches. The others went into a theater of sorts, with the match about to start. Everyone took their seats, watching the stage be selected.

"Looks like they're choosing that new Suzaku Castle stage." Rosalina said, having been seated next to Palutena.

Palutena observed the celestial goddess. She smiled. "I don't believe we've met, have we?"

Rosalina looked at Palutena, realizing this. "You're right. Well, I'm Rosalina, Guardian of the Cosmos."

Palutena shook her hand. "And I'm Palutena, the Goddess of Light."

Rosalina chuckled. "Something tells me that we're going to get along just fine."

Samus spoke up, who sat next to Rosalina. "Hey guys. The match is starting."

"Oh. Right." The two goddesses nodded.

Mario hopped out of the pipe, appearing on the left side of the stage while Sonic spindashed onto the right side of the stage.

"Ready for this, Sonic?" Mario smirked.

"If you can keep up with me." Sonic bragged back.

The countdown started.

"THREE!"

Mario adjusted his cap, facing Sonic with a determined look in his eyes.

"TWO!"

Sonic jogged a bit in place, just as determined as Mario.

"ONE!"

The two stared each other down, ready to take out their opponent.

"GO!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Cloud was getting to know some of the other Smashers. He had already familiarized himself with the Fire Emblem crew, but was trying to keep his space from Lucina after the uncomfortable incident in the auditorium. Currently, he was meeting with the Legend of Zelda characters. He and the Zelda crew were in the snack bar, picking up a few snacks to eat and to just talk and chill out.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Cloud." Zelda smiled. "Your legends of what you've done have even spread out as far as Hyrule."

Toon Link nodded. "Yeah, and I'm really eager to fight you. I can hardly wait for a match between us."

Cloud smiled. Toon Link seemed like a nice little guy. He'd have to take him up on that offer sometime.

"Yeah well… don't expect me to get all buddy-buddy with you."

That voice didn't come from Ganondorf, but surprisingly Link himself.

"I can take a wild guess. You aren't exactly happy to have me here, aren't you?" Cloud said. "Don't you think it's time to let those Final Fantasy 7 vs Ocarina of Time wars go? They're both great games."

"Listen… Cloud… we are sworn enemies. You are a symbol of Sony and the symbol of Final Fantasy's treasonous turn from Nintendo to Sony. How could I EVER forgive that?! I want nothing to do with a whiny little emo like you."

"…I thought I was your sworn enemy…" Ganondorf muttered to himself, with a hint of jealousy.

"…You REALLY aren't going to let that go?" Cloud said, in a bit of disbelief. "Shame. I was rather excited to meet a legendary hero like yourself, but I guess we can't be friends if you want to treat me like a traitor."

Cloud bent down to talk to Toon Link, though. "But I'll take you up on that battle sometime." he told the Hero of Winds, before leaving the snack bar.

Link has his arms crossed, unhappy about Cloud even being here.

"Wow." Zelda sighed.

"I know, right?" Link ranted. "What business does a Sony rep have being-"

"Not him!" Zelda shouted back. "You! I never thought you'd act like such an immature little prick to Cloud! Like him or not, he's an RPG legend, and if you can't even be in the same room as him without insulting him, then maybe you shouldn't even be called a 'righteous' hero!"

And with that, Zelda stormed out of the room.

Link scoffed. "Fine. But Cloud still doesn't deserve to be…"

Toon Link interrupted him. "I never thought I'd be disappointed in my older counterpart. Whiny little emo? Really? What are you, 5?"

Toon Link left after Zelda, hoping to catch up with her.

Sheik soon approached Link. "I never thought you would be like this, Hero of Time and Twilight." After that comment, she silently left. Only Ganondorf remained.

"G-Ganondorf?" Link asked, humiliated again to have to ask his mortal enemy to side with him.

"I could side with you, as I don't care about him either way… but the humiliation you must be feeling to ask ME to side with you is just too rich to do so!" Ganondorf laughed loudly, leaving behind Link.

Link silently cursed to himself as he was left along in the snack bar.

* * *

"Cloud?" Zelda asked, knocking on his door. Currently, Ryu and Cloud were rooming together, and Ryu was out training, as he did a majority of the time.

"Yeah?" came his voice.

"May I come in?"

"Door's unlocked." he said casually.

Zelda was a bit surprised at how casual Cloud was acting considering what just happened, but went into anyways.

"Hey, Cloud." she said, bringing one of her braids back. "I really would like to apologize about Link. What he did was incredibly uncalled for and-"

Cloud shrugged. "Don't worry over it." he said, sitting up from his bed to face Zelda. "Honestly, I get that all the time. It hardly phases me."

"Yeah, well it was still petty for older me to do something like that!" came another voice, that being Toon Link as he came into the room. "He's older than me! He should know better! I, on the other hand, can't wait for the chance to take you on the battlefield!" he now said excitedly, eager like the little kid he was.

Cloud chuckled. "I like you, kid. You've got spunk. And don't worry about what older you says about me."

"Toon Link is right, though. It really is petty." Zelda sighed "For something that was… almost 2 decades ago? You clearly aren't sour over those Final Fantasy 7 versus Ocarina of Time wars, so I can't understand why Link is."

Cloud smiled. "He'll come out of it soon enough. Those wars were something fierce, and even I harbored some hatred for Link back then. But those days are long gone. I just hope he moves past it, too. If Master Hand didn't care about my Sony history and those wars, then I think Link will settle down over it eventually. He just needs time."

Zelda and even Toon Link softened up at this. "You know what? I think you're right!" Toon Link said. "I think older me will soften up and be nice to you eventually."

Cloud spoke up again. "You know, you're starting to sound a lot like Sora."

"Who?" Toon Link asked in confusion.

Cloud smirked softly. "That's a story for another day."

"OK then. But for now, why don't we head to the swimming pool to chill out? I warn you, I'm a mean Marco Polo!" he laughed, dashing out of Cloud's room and towards his room.

Zelda and Cloud laughed as Toon Link dashed out.

"I guess we better go join him, huh?" Zelda said.

"I could use a good dip in the pool, anyways." Cloud replied, the two heading out of his room.

* * *

"This game's winner is…"

"NO! NO! DARN IT! NO! DARN IT! DARN IT! DARN IT!"

"Mario!"

Those screams of 'no' and 'darn it' weren't from a sour Sonic, he was actually applauding his mustached rival. Those screams were from Falco, realizing that he lost his bet.

Fox smirked. "I'll be sure to take photos for the Internet."

"…I hate you."

* * *

Several hours later…

"Does Polly want a cracker? Come on, does Polly want a cracker?" Crazy Hand laughed, getting out crackers to feed Falco. The poor bird-man was stuffed into a cage entirely too small for him, as it was designed more for an actual bird than a bird-man. His legs cramped up against the side of the cage, sighing as he saw the crackers. He was starting to get kinda hungry.

Falco sighed. "Yes… Polly wants a cracker…"

"Oh goody!" Crazy Hand said excitedly, stuffing Falco's mouth full of crackers. He wasn't going to ever admit it, but the crackers tasted kinda good.

Fox was next to Crazy Hand, taking pictures with his smartphone. "I changed my mind. I won't upload these to the Internet."

Falco sighed in relief.

"I'll just send them to the Star Fox crew and Wolf instead." Fox smirked slyly.

"WHAT?! NO! Wolf will never let me live it down if he sees me like-"

"Does Polly want more crackers?" Crazy Hand asked again.

Falco sighed, still feeling really hungry. He had missed lunch, and… those crackers tasted really good. "Yes, Polly wants more crackers…"

* * *

_Super Smash Bros © Nintendo_

_All 3__rd__-party characters © to their respective owners_

Yep, another chapter of Story of Smashers. I'm not going to bother with author's notes right now, so just leave a review or comment on the story!


	6. The Many Dates of Shulk

Story of Smashers

Chapter 6: The Many Dates of Shulk

* * *

"…Oh boy."

Shulk stood at the door to Master Hand's (and Crazy Hand's) office.

"Maybe I shouldn't do this. Maybe I'm just being silly." Shulk tried to argue himself out of doing it.

But then that image of Zanza he saw came back to his head, haunting him.

"No… I've got to do this. If it's real… I can't let Zanza ever come back."

Shulk opened the door, looking for Master Hand. Unfortunately, he seemed to not be sitting at his desk.

"…Guess I'll come back later." Shulk muttered to himself, as he started to close the door…

"Hey! What's happenin'?! What can I help you with?"

Crazy Hand's booming voice startled Shulk, causing him to flop down on his behind. He hovered over to the downed Shulk, seeing him.

"How's that floor? Is it nice?"

"Uhh… umm… I was looking for Master Hand, but… I think I'll come back later." Shulk said. He wasn't quite sure about talking to Crazy Hand about this issue.

"He's out gardening, and he doesn't want to be disturbed. But I can help you! Come on, tell Uncle Crazy what's wrong."

Shulk looked at Crazy Hand and sighed. "I can't believe I'm doing this… but OK."

"Well… I'm having trouble. Not long ago, I was washing my face and… maybe I was just imagining things, but…"

"What is it?! The suspense is killing me!" Crazy Hand exclaimed dramatically.

Shulk's hair was blown away by the booming voice. He blinked, a bit startled. "Umm… I thought I saw Zanza in the mirror. I think I've explained this to Master Hand before, but… he's basically the god that tried to destroy my world. And he looks a lot like me, as he inhabited my body for a long time. So, I'm rather nervous after I saw him. I was… worried that he might have come back in some way after my friends and I killed him for good."

Crazy Hand hovered there, thinking. "Hmm… yes… Shulk, I think I know what your problem is!"

"You do?" Shulk said hopefully. He REALLY hoped that he had just imagined things and that the powerful Hand could confirm this.

"Yes. Clearly, by seeing Zanza again, you are lonely. He popped up to you as an illusion because you have no girlfriend here. He wants to be YOUR boyfriend as you are horribly desperately for some sort of treasured girl in your life, and have secret feelings for Zanza. But not to worry! Crazy Hand is here to save the day!"

Shulk was… baffled by Crazy Hand's logic, and that was understating it. "I have… secret feelings for Zanza?" he said in disbelief, utterly disgusted by that thought as he shuddered thinking about it.

"Obviously. It's the only logical conclusion." Crazy Hand said matter-of-factly.

"Uh-huh… right." Shulk said with dripping sarcasm, not believing this in the slightest.

Predictably, Crazy Hand took this answer seriously.

"Glad you agree wholeheartedly! I'll be setting up the blind dates right away!"

"But Crazy Hand…"

"Who shall we start with first?" Crazy Hand pondered, levitating Shulk and dragging him behind him with telekinesis.

"But Crazy…"

"Ooh, I know! Let's go in roster order! Better send Peach a notice via the intercom system that'll get her running over."

"But…"

"Now where should we have the date?" Crazy Hand pondered, completely ignoring Shulk. "I know! How about the gardens? Gardens are so romantic and perfect for scenes of love confessions! At least, that's what the movies taught me!"

Shulk sighed, realizing there was no arguing now.

"No time for dilly-dally, Shulk. Go get dressed in your room! I'll send Peach a notice of the utmost emergency to meet me at the gardens!"

And with that, Shulk was teleported away close to immediately.

* * *

"Gee, thanks Crazy. Never should've talked to him. I was probably just seeing things and now I get into even more trouble…"

Shulk grumbled as he walked over to the gardens. As eccentric as Crazy Hand was, it would be a HORRIBLE idea to ignore an order from him, no matter how silly it was.

Soon enough, Shulk saw Peach dashing into the gardens, looking rather frantic.

"Shulk?! Crazy Hand?!" she said in alarm, looking at the two. "I received a message to come over to the gardens right away, as it was an emergency. What is it?! Is something wrong?!"

"Believe me, Peach. Everything is wrong." Shulk grumbled.

Peach paused, looking over the gardens. "Everything seems… peaceful. That announcement Crazy Hand gave me the impression that it was an extreme emergency. As in, I kinda expected someone was dying and I'd have to use some healing magic or something."

"But Shulk IS dying!" Crazy Hand proclaimed. "Dying from the lack of love for a passionate girl, and his secret obsession with Zanza that needs to be tamed!"

Peach looked at Shulk oddly, who simply replied with a "Don't ask."

"So… what exactly do you want me to do here, Crazy Hand?" Peach sighed.

"You. And Shulk. Romantic date."

"But…!" the two tried to protest, before Crazy Hand snapped his fingers. When the dust cleared, Shulk and Peach were sitting at a small, wooden, yet ornately decorated table. Shulk looked down at his clothes, a bit alarmed that he was now dressed in a fancy tuxedo. Peach, on the other hand, was in her white "Wedding Dress", the same one that she had been forced to wear during her 'wedding' to Bowser some years back. Needless to say, it didn't bring back good memories.

Suddenly hearing a soft violin starting to play, Shulk and Peach looked towards the side to see…

"Donkey Kong?" Peach asked in confusion.

The ape shrugged. "Hey, I know more than just the bongo. Besides, Crazy's paying me in bananas for this."

Shulk and Peach turned back to each other awkwardly. Crazy Hand was clearly expecting SOMETHING between the two to happen.

"So uh… how's the Mushroom Kingdom going?"

"Oh uh… it's… good. Bowser still kidnapped me on occasion after the Brawl tournament, but it's nothing Mario and Luigi couldn't handle. What about you?"

"Bionis is pretty normal. Not much has happened since the whole Zanza thing. I thought I saw him in the mirror this morning, but I'm probably just imagining things."

"Who… is Zanza?" Peach asked in confusion.

Shulk sighed. "Long story short, evil god who wanted to destroy my universe and looked kinda like me. I was kinda like a 'vessel' for him for years."

Peach chuckled softly. "Well, I was once a 'vessel' myself for an ancient demon of 1000 years that wanted to shroud the world in darkness. I certainly won't forget that."

"Wow. I had no clue something like that happened to you." Shulk said, actually quite surprised.

"Ancient demons and evil gods seem to be a common thing for Nintendo universes. I mean, Ganondorf is a living example of both." Peach chuckled.

"…Why exactly is he in the tournament again, if he's incredibly evil and incredibly powerful?"

"Two words, Shulk: Iconic Villain." Peach said matter-of-factly. "The same applies to Bowser, though he's not always THAT evil."

"OK. Bowser, Ganondorf, King Dedede. That makes enough sense… wait. What about Rid-"

Peach quickly put her hand over Shulk's mouth. "Don't you know anything?" she scolded. "Master Hand has forbidden anyone to talk about the biggest dragon that shall not be named."

Shulk took Peach's hand off of his mouth. "Why?"

"He says it's forbidden by a 'higher authority' that Master Hand serves."

"…You know what, I'm not even going to ask." Shulk sighed. "But anyways… don't you already kinda have a boyfriend, Peach? You know… Mario?"

Peach shrugged her shoulders. "I know that. I just didn't know I'd be dragged out here for a date."

"You can blame Crazy Hand for this."

"Yeah… but… I kinda have to get going. I have a match scheduled with Bowser in about a half-hour." She said loudly, making sure Crazy Hand heard her.

Shulk lowered his voice to a whisper. "…Really?"

"…Actually, no. I just want out of this scheme by Crazy Hand." she admitted.

"Ooh, a match with the great and powerful and hunky and awesome and sexy and…"

Peach gave an odd look to Crazy Hand.

"S-So what? I mean, it's not like I find Bowser attractive or sexy or hunky or hot… BAKA! Fine then, go! Break my heart! You traitor!" Crazy Hand started sobbing hysterically.

Peach brought her hand to her face while Shulk just started laughing.

"I'll… take my leave." She said, heading back into the mansion. That was certainly weird, but it wasn't the weirdest thing Crazy Hand had said. This was on the tamer side of things.

Shulk spoke up. "So… does this mean I can go now? Please?"

Crazy Hand immediately broke from his sobbing, instantly recomposed. "Oh heavens no! We still need to find you the right girl! Peach just… she's too… that's it! She's just too BORING! Too VANILLA! What you need is excitement! A girl familiar with danger! Someone who deals with drama and death on a regular basis!"

"I've got a bad feeling about this…"

"SAMUS!"

* * *

20 minutes later, Shulk found himself sitting at a dining table, inside a fancy restaurant. Some jazz music was playing on the piano courtesy of the music maestro Donkey Kong.

"Since when do you play the piano?" Shulk asked from his seat.

"Hey, I'm a music lover. Had to do something after K. Rool disappeared."

"What happened to that guy, anyways?"

DK shrugged. "Don't know. Some people say the Kremlings got sick of him and overthrew him because of his harsh rule and obsession with blowing things up. Others say that Bowser's forces from the Darklands utterly crushed and killed him. Me, personally? I think that the idiot just blew himself up. But hey, at least he probably died happy."

And with that, DK went back to playing the jazzy piano, as if the prior conversation had never occurred.

Shulk was left waiting for another half-hour until a familiar woman came over to Shulk's table and sat down. She was tall, intimidatingly so as 6 feet 3 inches, and this was WITHOUT her armor. It ended up leaving Shulk feeling puny at his 5 feet 7.5 inches. Her hair was a gorgeous blonde held up with a ponytail, though it left Shulk wondering just how she fit that into her Varia Suit. And with her civilian clothing on, it showed that she was far more muscular than what her slim Zero Suit suggested.

"Umm… I…" Shulk was left stuttering for a bit. Even if he already had a girlfriend, there was no denying that Samus was… well… pretty sexy.

Samus smirked a bit. "I can't say I'm surprised. I mean, Chozo Genes, right?" she laughed.

"Yeah… heh heh." He laughed awkwardly.

"Anyway… Crazy Hand kinda dragged me in here so I guess I have to amuse him. At least you aren't Captain Falcon." She said with some obvious disdain in her voice.

"Yeah… he's still recovering, isn't he?"

"Yeah. But maybe it'll make him think twice before he gets… grabby. To be honest, I'm not sure if I'm even looking." Samus sighed.

"Anyways… what about you? How goes your whole bounty hunting thing?" Shulk said, attempting to change the subject.

"I'm just making ends meet, to be honest. Been on the run from the Galactic Federation after sabotaging their X-Parasites project and destroying the B.S.L. Such idiots. I don't really know what's in store for me next, but Smash Brothers is really a nice break from all of that."

"B.S.L... that's where you destroyed the SA-X, right? I've looked into some of your logs you've given the library."

"That would be correct. Honestly, Dark Samus and then SA-X… really makes me wonder how many 'dark' counterparts of the heroes here there are."

Shulk counted them out loud. "Dark Link, Dark Samus, SA-X, Shadow Mario, Mr. L, Dark Pit, Shadow the Hedgehog, Evil Ryu, Zanza…"

"Although Dark Pit's not that bad of a guy." Samus reasoned. "Even if he tries a bit too hard to be 'edgy'."

Shulk chuckled. "He is actually kind of charming in that way. Maybe this whole date thing Crazy Hand forced me into really isn't so…"

"All right, CUT!" Crazy Hand screamed. "Thank you for your time, Samus. But your necessary 30 minutes are up and here is your pay as promised."

Shulk was bewildered for a moment. "Wait, what?"

Samus smirked, hopping out of the chair and taking a bag the Hand left on a different table. "Much thanks, Crazy. I'm glad you could deliver."

"It was hard work finding a way to resurrect that baby Metroid, you know?" he griped. Samus opened the bag and a cute Metroid floated out, which she hugged.

"Nice talking with you, Shulk!" she smiled, actually pretty happy as she left to her room with the Metroid.

Shulk was in shock. "But… that isn't… it didn't mean…"

Shulk sighed. "Just bring on the next girl already."

* * *

"That's it, Shulk. Feel the burn."

"AAGGHHH! I'm really feeling the burn alright! And pain on every other part of my body!"

Next on Crazy Hand's list of girls was Wii Fit Trainer, and her idea of a 'date' was doing strenuous and borderline insane exercises that was going to leave Shulk in serious need of a chiropractor.

"Good job on the Wounded Peacock pose." Wii Fit Trainer smiled as she gently unwound from the position. Said position was insanely difficult, essentially keeping the entire body balanced on one hand as the legs were spread up in the air and split slightly like scissors. The remaining hand would stretch back towards the legs and the head would face forward.

Shulk simply collapsed after the end of that pose, panting. "Nobody's back… should ever bend… that way… EVER."

"10 minutes of rest… and then we will move onto the Forearm-Stand Scorpion Pose. For this pose, you will bend your arms at 90 degrees, using the strength to support your entire upper and lower body above your head, eventually bringing your feet down to your head, much like a circle."

Shulk had an unbelievably horrified expression of pain and misery on his face. "Crazy Hand! Next!"

* * *

"Ugh…" Shulk groaned, laying down on a couch after the intense exercises of Wii Fit Trainer. "Crazy Hand… can we just stop?"

"Come on, Shulk! I've got Lucina with me! She's such a perfect match for you! I REALLY think this'll work out!"

Steps were heard coming through the door, and into the small study Shulk and Crazy Hand were in. "Uhh… what did you need with me, Crazy Hand?" said a distinctly male voice.

"Oh Lucina! Glad you could make it!" Crazy Hand said happily. "Come on, talk with Shulk. Kissy-kissy, mwah-mwah."

"I'm not Lucina. I'm Marth. You know, the Fire Emblem guy that's been here since Melee?" Marth tried to clarify. Sure, he and Lucina looked kinda alike… but he'd think people would be used to it by now. Plus, he was around first.

"Come on, Lucina. Don't keep the poor boy waiting."

Shulk found the strength to lean up and see the two talking. "Crazy Hand… that's Marth."

Marth sighed. "I'd ask if you're blind, but you're a giant hand. I don't exactly know how that works."

"Ehh… Marth, Lucina, whatever. It's the same thing, right?" Crazy Hand said lazily as he psychically dragged 'Lucina' over to Shulk.

Marth didn't exactly agree with this sentiment, but there wasn't really much he could do for right now. After all, Crazy Hand was far more powerful than he, and the last thing he wanted to do was piss the Hand off. Results of that were often disastrous, ending in a destroyed mansion more often than not. Master Hand has been giving Crazy Hand mandatory lessons in controlling his emotions like that, but nobody knows how that went. And Marth certainly wasn't going to put it to the test.

"So, you just want to talk or something, Shulk?" Marth shrugged.

"I guess… sorry about getting you dragged into this." Shulk apologized.

"Don't be. Crazy Hand is just… well, Crazy Hand." Marth sighed. "So uh… is this supposed to be a date or something?"

"Yes." Shulk groaned. "He dragged me into this. I don't know why he thinks I need this. I certainly don't have hidden desires for Zanza."

Marth was a bit puzzled. "Zanza?"

"Long story."

"Evil god?" the blue-haired swordsman suspected.

"To put it simply." Shulk sighed.

Crazy Hand seemed to be absolutely ecstatic about their interactions. "See?! I knew you and Marth would get along! I mean, he's the same as Lucina except he's gay. So it's perfect!"

Marth's eye twitched. Something inside him snapped, and was ready to lash out at Crazy Hand, consequences be damned.

"Crazy Hand! How many times must we go through this?!" he shouted at the top of his lungs.

"This is not going to be pretty." Shulk muttered under his breath.

"I. AM. STRAIGHT. I'm not interested in guys. I HAVE A WIFE! This is established in my game! And it was finally released in English! And yet despite that, everyone thinks I'm gay!"

"But… but… I thought you were gay. You were so, like, ultra-feminine in Melee. I mean, really. You were TOTALLY fabulous. With the blue hair and the crown and the sword and everything!" Crazy Hand insisted.

"The Melee tournament was FOREVER ago! So one girly first impression cements you as 'that Fire Emblem dude that's boyfriends with Roy' all because nobody knew who you were at the time!" Marth ranted.

Shulk tried to interject. "But uh… hey! Look at the bright side! Your franchise is doing awesome now!"

"Yeah, I know. Robin and Lucina are pretty happy about it. But that doesn't necessarily make everyone realize that I have a wife. You do not even WANT to know how many letters I get telling me that I should ditch Caeda and run away with Roy!"

"I'm… sure I don't." Shulk whimpered, realizing that this situation wasn't going to de-escalate.

Crazy Hand let out a pitiful whine as well. "Well… I… MAY have spread the rumors that you were gay. I… I really thought you were. I… I'm really sorry…"

"Yeah, you try dealing with gay rumors for years! Getting the most vile and disgusting porn starring you and a good friend of yours?! Even Lucina's very existence wasn't enough to stop it all! You think one little sorry is going to cut it?!" Marth yelled, clearly going off of the deep end, but you couldn't completely blame him.

"MARTH!" Shulk yelled, catching his attention. Marth seemed to snap out of what was almost a trance, realizing that his tension and anger made him look… quite disheveled and just a little bit crazy.

"Look. I can't say that I understand what you went through. But I'm sure every reasonable attractive guy gets it. I mean… I still get it with Reyn, although I'm sure nowhere near to your extent. And Reyn and I are just good friends. Heck, I actually have a girlfriend too."

"…WHHHAAAT?!" Crazy Hand gasped. "But… but… you have a girlfriend… Marth's not gay… EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE, GOSH DARN IT!"

Marth laughed a bit, seeming to recover. "I… apologize. I mean… Crazy Hand's not the brightest hand around. He probably didn't do it on purpose. Not saying that I liked years of threats to my wife, but… yeah. He wouldn't do it on purpose. I just… need to cool down. Most of that stuff is over, anyways."

"Oh Marth, I really need to show you this crazy thing a very dedicated… 'fan' sent me… she said it was for me and Reyn but… well, let's just say it's not even something I would do with Fiora. Ever."

"I assume it's one of… 'those' Things. An Unmentionable."

"Yes. Very… 'Unmentionable'."

Marth had the most hilarious smile on his face. "Let's go see it. I'm sure it can't be worse than what some 'fans' have sent for me and Roy."

"I don't know." Shulk laughed. "I think I'd rather take on Zanza again than take on this 'Unmentionable'."

The two headed out, now feeling pretty jolly and far more upbeat than they came in feeling. Hand-in-hand, dashing out joyously, one could have taken a more… romantic slant between the two. Crazy Hand didn't let this pass him by.

"Hand-in-hand… Marth and Shulk… OH IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS?! I have the best idea for a slash fic now!"

* * *

_Super Smash Bros. © Nintendo_

Holy crap. Last update in April 2016. This update in January 2017. I've had 'off-schedule' before, but this was insane. I guess this can be chalked up to having a heavier focus on finishing Conquering the Dark, editing and getting a chapter of Turnabout Legend out, as well as wanting to focus on my more original works. Hope you enjoy, despite the wait.


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